


Silver Plight

by Gamergirl2170



Series: Silver Plight Silver Light [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Abuse, Brothels, Brotherly Dorian Pavus, Canon-Typical Violence, Depression, F/F, F/M, M/M, Protective Iron Bull, Protective Varric Tethras, Sera Being Sera, Sisterly Sera, Slave Trade, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Sword Fighting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2019-07-05 08:28:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15859947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gamergirl2170/pseuds/Gamergirl2170
Summary: Life becomes complicated at some point, for everyone, not just me. But, bad days are more common than not. From discovering cheaters, to getting stuck in the rain, to being blown into another world. Okay, so that last one's obviously not common. At all. Except that's what happened. A world that resembles our's from the medieval times, but with magic, dragons, and different species of people.It's alright though... I can handle this... Maybe?WARNING: The story gets very dark at the beginning. Implied past abuse, depression, suicidal thoughts, and attempted suicide.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The ending of this chapter has inspiration from the Manga Kanata Kara (From Far Away).

I am not weak enough to cry. I do _not_ shed tears. Crying, to me, has always been a sign of weakness… So, _no_ , I am **not** choking on a lump in my throat, or fighting back the itchy prickling in my eyes that is all too familiar. Except… I am. Standing in the door of my apartment, my fist tight around the handle of the plastic bag, full of Chinese food, my chest aches from the air stuck in my throat as I stare at the half naked blonde laying on my couch, my fiance is kneeling above her, shock clear of his face as his brown eyes are on my face.

 

“Alix, w-what are you doing home?” Mark’s question is what makes my blood boil, narrowing my eyes at him.

 

“You were home sick, so I thought that I’d take the day off. Bring you your favorite.” I state through clenched teeth.

 

“Oh ho. You’re Alix?” The blonde girl laughs, looking at me from her back, her head tilted back with bright green eyes shining mirthfully. “This must totally suck for you.” She grins at me. “You can just leave the food.”

 

“Brenda, shut up.” Mark growls from his position between her legs.

 

“ _Brenda_ ? **_Brenda, as in your secretary?!_ ** ” I clench my fist tighter, before throwing the bag of food at them, the styrofoam containers pop open from the bag, steaming food landing on the two cheaters with a yell as I turn on my heels, stomping down the hall with the slam of the door reverberating through the building. _I am_ **_not_ ** _crying. I am_ **_not_ ** _crying!_ I snarl in my mind as my feet pick up the pace, to the point where I am running down the flight of stairs from my apartment, ducking out the door, and throwing myself into the light rain that is just starting to pour. I place my hands on my knees, sucking in short acidic breathes of the alleyway, tears forcing themselves past the prisons I built for them so long again. Raking my fingers through my rose colored locks, I straighten up from my bent position, before I start walking through the city, without a goal in mind. Cars honk and zoom past, birds tweet, dogs bark, people talk and walk, but it’s all muted by the aching beat of my heart in my ears, my eyes are drawn to the sky as I wait for the crosswalk light to change. The blue with white clouds are replaced with murky muted gray, a perfect match to my mood as I move down the street, rain picking up to the point where people open umbrellas, but I let it fall on me, masking my tears.

 

I find myself sitting in a booth of a cafe, shivering as I wipe my red ringed eyes, looking the menu over for something warm. A tv in the corner murmurs quietly, the News channel is talking about some captured terrorists, who gave an admittance about planting bombs about the city, but I find myself tuning the rest out when I have the thought of the bombs probably being false leverage to get out soon for the locations. “What can I get you?” I look up from the menu to see a freckle faced girl with brown locks, warm cocoa eyes, and bright purple braces.

 

“How about a world where men aren’t pigs?” I mutter as I look back down at the menu.

 

“I-I’m sorry?” She stammers in surprise, causing me to shake my head, clearing my throat as I close the menu.

 

“It’s nothing, never mind. Just a hot cocoa, please.” I hand her the menu with a shivering hand, causing her to frown as she watches me for a moment, my hands coming up to rub warming circles on my arms as I turn my attention to the changed channel, my eyes on the Beverly Hillbillies.

 

“One extra large cocoa, coming right up!” She scurries away, causing me bite the inside of my cheek, tugging at my soaked vest and black shirt, the fabric making a suctioning sound on my skin, causing me to cringe, goosebumps raising on my flesh as I rub insistently at my arms and legs. “Uh, e-excuse me.” I look back up to see the girl from before standing before me with a change of clothes in her hands. “You are all wet, and you can catch a cold like that- I don’t know it these will fit, but they’re dry and warm. You can change in our bathroom, there’s a lock on the door.” I blink at her in surprise, before slowly reaching out to take the clothes.

 

“Uh… thanks.” I murmur, causing her to smile brightly.

 

“It’s no problem. Feel free to go change now.” She scurries away again, and I stare at the clothes folded neatly in my hands, before I slide out of the booth, walking over to the women’s bathroom to change, before I shove my clothes, wrapped in a bunch of paper towels, into the bottom of my purse. Standing before the bathroom mirror, I wash the streaked eyeliner from around my heterochromatic eyes, then I braid my hair back with a hair tie, and exit the bathroom to go back to my booth, where an extra large cocoa sits with whipped cream on the top, and a large basket of chili cheese fries with a small note ‘On the house, enjoy! ;)’ set to the side. I bite my lip to fight off a small smile, feeling sad and happy as I sit down, sipping my warm cocoa, and picking at my fries. After a while, the rain lets up, so I leave the cafe to walk some more, warmth in the pit of my stomach churning with the sadness, the thought of having no place to go causes me to sigh, turning the corner to start back to the apartment I shared with my fiance, a plan formulating to kick him out, when my ring catches my eye. The simple gold band with three little diamonds embedded in it causes me to frown, tearing up.

 

“ **_LOOK OUT!_ ** ” I turn at the shout to see someone ride straight into a phone pole, the tire hits a paper bag that is just sitting there, the biker falls to the side as I rush towards them, before suddenly, there’s a large fiery explosion, and heat engulfs me, a loud ringing in my ears, before everything goes dark.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up in a new world isn't all it's cut out to be. Alix's awaking is a rude one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Attempted Suicide in this chapter

 

It’s dizzying, like I’m going around and around in circles, before I land with something of a hard thud, causing me to groan as I pry my gluey eyes open, my head thrums as I slowly sit up, the landscape around me is wooded, the ground is soft with springy green blades of grass under my hands. I let out a groan as I struggle to my feet, lethargy seeping into my bones and joints, causing them to ache as my legs shake like newborn deer, stumbling a few feet forward to catch myself upon the trunk of a tree, looking around. Pain lances my flesh, causing me to wince as I look down at my arms, the flesh on the backs of my forearms are melted down, blistered beyond recognition, I can even see the white of my bone in some places, and moving them too much causes me to wince in pain. There is perspirations beading on the back of my neck at the sight, before the sound of footsteps echoes around me, drawing me from my study of my arms, and I slowly turn my head towards the noise, only to be tackled onto my back by a man, who is instantly at my throat with his hands. I hack and choke as I struggle against his grip, thrashing as my hands fly limply, grappling for something, before my hand closes on what feels like a large stone.

 

Gripping the stone firmly, I bring my hand up, slamming it against the strangers head, causing him to shout as he rolls off me, gripping his head with both his hands, and I scramble to my feet, pain lancing through every part of my body, bringing my leg back, I slam my foot into the man’s stomach, before kicking him in his nether regions, and he grabs my leg, throwing me to the side as I scream, he scrambles after me as if he’s insane, and I grab a nearby stick, hitting him upside the head with it, forcing myself back to my feet. I go to run when he sinks his teeth and nails into my leg, causing me to cry out, reaching back with the hefty stick to smack him, when he yanks, and I fall backwards onto him. There’s a sound like a choke as I land, a warm liquid spills across the ground, staining the grass, my legs, and my arms, when I look down, I realize the man is twitching under me. The stick is lodged into his throat, causing me to scream as I roll off him, stumbling to my feet as I stare, aghast at what I had done. There’s a rustling sound behind me, causing me to to turn seeing a group of people coming into view from behind the brush.

 

There is a beautiful dark skinned woman leading the front, her long snow white curls are a stark contrast to her flesh, despite being pulled back into a curly ponytail with a leather throng, the most surprising thing is her pointed ears. Behind her, where her attention is currently, is a tall man with a large stick in his hand, he’s bald with the same type of ears, and they seem to be chattering about something amicably. There is a shorter man with a long coat, scraggly beard, one pierced ear, and a crossbow in his hand. The sight of the giant creature behind them all is what scares me to the point where I stumble backwards, collapsing into an icy cold stream that draws a shout of surprise and pain from my throat.

 

“What?!” The woman cries, her gaze turning to land on me as I gasp for breath, my arms burning from the water in my bloody arms, and I notice one of my legs is in just as bad as shape. “Are you okay?!” She dashes over to me, stomping into the water without hesitation, before she slips her hands under my arms, hefting me to my shaky feet as I shiver from the cold and pain. “Creators!” She gasps as she finally takes my appearance in. “You’re injured!” She turns to the others. “Solas, can you heal her?” My stomach flips at the sound of  _ that _ name.

 

“The damage is… extensive.” The balding man answers. “I am not sure I can.” She turns to the small man.

 

“Varric, I know Bianca is waiting, but we should get her back to Skyhold, before infection sets in.” She says, my eyes fall on the smaller man, who nods.

 

“Sure, snowflake. I can go on ahead.” He says.

 

“Bull, can you carry her? She can’t walk like this.” The gray creature with an eyepatch moves forward.

 

“Sure thing boss.” He barely gets within a few feet of me, when my heat stutters, eyes rolling into the back of my head as everything goes dark, falling limp. The second time I wake, I’m in an uncomfortable bed made of straw, there is a itchy woolen blanket thrown over me, and my pillow is stiff and kind of flat. As I attempt to sit up, there is a searing pain in my arms and legs, causing me to cry out, which draws the attention of a woman with a shaggy haircut as she turns to me.

 

“Ah, Maker’s breath, you’re awake!” She smiles as she presses me down into the bed once more. “You been sleepin’ for a week, worried that Fever was gonna take ya, we were!” She says, before moving to the desk across the room, before she returns with a glass in her hand, which she presses into my hand. “Drink.” She orders, leaving no room for argument, so I sit up a bit, sipping on the cup. A rich buttery sweet flavor explodes across my tongue, a full feeling quickly settles into my stomach, causing the woman to nod as she takes the cup back from me after a moment. “Gotta get the inquisitor, I do. Then we’ll change your bandages.” She says as she hurries towards the door, and I slowly press up on my hands, pain shoots up my injured arms. Bringing my legs over the side of the bed, I sit up on my own, my head aches as I rub it, trying to make heads or tails of what’s going on.

 

_ I remember finding Mark with another woman, then wandering town. A… shout, a crash, and… an explosion. _ I feel hurt prickling in my chest.  _ Mark. We’d been engaged for two years, but he wouldn’t let me set a finite date… I should have known.  _  Suddenly blood dances behind my eyelids.  _ Oh god, I killed a man! _ I bite back tears. The door opens to reveal the woman from before, her violet eyes practically glow in the candlelit room as she makes her way over to me. “You’re awake.” She smiles at me as she kneels before me. “That’s good. We hurried back here as soon as we could- We were worried about you after we got caught in the storm.” I look up at her, hearing her words, understanding them, but it still sounds like she’s talking underwater. “You had a bit of an infection in one of your legs, that caused Fever to set in easier in the rain.” She pauses. “What were you doing out there, with such a storm coming in?” I can’t bring myself to answer, causing her to sigh. “Can you tell me your name?” I barely look up at her.  _ I had wanted to spend time with Mark… he wasn’t feeling well, and I had just been told mom had passed… I just wanted to be with him. That man… he looked a bit like Mark.  _ “How were you hurt? Those burns are pretty extensive.” She tilts her head to look up my own. “The healers could do anything but grow back a lay or so of your flesh. You’re going to have scars.” She says, causing me to blink at her. “Do you know where you are?” She finally asks, causing me to look into her eyes, shaking my head silently. “Do you know  _ who _ you are?” I nod at that, causing her to breath in relief.

 

“Sorry ma’am, but she can’t stay here if she’s awake. Her wounds are fine if someone checks on ‘em.” The woman behind her says, causing the one before me to sigh.

 

“We don’t have a place for her to stay right now, the bunkhouse is being fixed up.” She looks at me, a frown of her face with her brow furrowing. “You can stay in my quarters, I’ll be traveling too much to use them for a bit.” She says, I barely even acknowledge her as she pulls me to my feet, leading me towards the door. “Oh, I’m Mythalisan Lavellan, but people call me Myth.” She shoots over her shoulder at me with a smile, leaving the area, that seemed to be an infirmary, only confirms my suspicions-  _ I  _ **_know_ ** _ this place. I just don’t know  _ **_how_ ** . “This is Skyhold, the stronghold of the Inquisition.” She looks at me as she walks slowly up the stairs, towards the castle, taking into consideration that my leg is injured along with my arms. She starts through the castle, leading me towards the throne the back of the room, where a door is sitting, which she opens, helping me all the way up to her quarters. As I sit on the bed, she gets me a change of clothes that aren’t ripped, burned, or stiff from the rain, before she helps me change, as I don’t really move to help myself. “You don’t talk much, do ya?” She finally asks after tugging my shirt into place, and I finally look up at her, tears simmering behind my eyes as I cross my legs on her bed.

 

“Why did you save me?” She’s taken back by my question.

 

“It was the right thing to do.” She answers honestly, but I stare at her, and she sighs. “You reminded me of me, when I first came to the Inquisition. Scared, hurt, lost. I know I don’t know anything about you, but I wanted to help. It’s in my nature.” I nod, looking down at my hands, swallow thickly against the lump in my throat.

 

“I… wish you hadn’t saved me.” I confess, my voice breaking as I look up at her.  _ Blood, choking, death… my fault _ . She gapes, watching me as tears start to fall, before she grabs my shoulders, pulling me into a firm hug.

 

“Everyone feels like this at one point, hun. It’s alright.” She murmurs in my ear, before she pulls back, reaching up to wipe my cheeks free of tears. “All you have to do, is remember that this too, shall pass. This is just one day.” She smiles at me, before she stands, moving to her desk across the room. “Let’s change those bandages.” She says, returning to her place before me, kneeling to take my leg in her hand, cutting the old gray bandages, and tossing them to the side, before spreading this gray  _ slop _ on my burn, causing me to scream in agony at the pain. “Sorry sorry! I forgot to warn you!” She smiles up at me, an icy feeling settles over the pain, and I look down to see her hands are covered in frost, emitting a film of a smooth balm over the burn.

 

“Alix.” She looks up at me from bandaging my leg. “My name.” I specify. “Alix Winifred Bishop.” She smiles at me.

 

“You have a pretty name.” I frown automatically at that, looking down as a memory comes to the forefront of my mind.

 

_ Walking down the hall, my eyes glued to the map in my hand, I turn the corner only to bump face first into someone, stumbling backwards as two hands come up to grab my arms, steadying me as I look up, a handsome guy my age smiles down at me. “Sorry.” Slips out of my mouth automatically, causing him to shake his head. _

 

_ “No worries. I wasn’t looking where I was going.” His brown eyes sparkle with promise of mischief and secrets. _

 

_ “N-No, it was me. I-I was looking for my classroom on the map, and-” _

 

_ “Mark, are you coming?” Another guy asks behind us, causing me to glance over my shoulder, seeing a guy in a jersey standing there, thumb pointed over his shoulder. _

 

_ “Yeah, in a minute. Got a lost pup here.” He grins down at me. “What’s your name, pup?” Heat floods my cheeks, and I look down, muttering ‘pup?’ under my breath. _

 

_ “Alix. Alix Winifred Bishop.” I introduce, causing his grin to widen as he grabs my hand, bending down to press a kiss to the back of it in an older fashioned greeting. _

 

_ “Nice to meet you, Alix. You have a pretty name.” He says, causing me to swallow thickly, my blush intensifying. _

 

“Are you alright?” Myth asks, causing me to blink back tears as I look up at her, before dropping my gaze down to her hands working to bandage my arm with a clean white bandage, and she frowns with a sigh. “Back to silence.” She murmurs, before looking at the door at the sound of someone knocking. “Come in!” She calls, causing a loud clack to sound, before there is the shuffling multiple pairs of feet. The first thing to pop over the rail, is a  **_large_ ** set of horns, followed by a gray faced creature, Bull, I remember Myth calling him, followed by a short stubby man with scruff along his face, and a long coat,  _ Varric _ , and the balding man with the staff,  _ Solas _ , the final one in view is a scraggly haired blonde girl with a torn red shirt and yellow leggings and pointed ears. It takes me a moment but I realize now where I  _ know _ these people from. They’re from a video game I played when I was younger.  _ What was it called? Dragon Effect? Mass Age? Oh, Dragon Age! _ I blink rapidly for a minute.  _ Does this mean I’m in a fucking video game? Like those fanfictions about fangirls? Like the ones where their favorite characters are automatically in love with them?  _ **_Maybe_ ** _ that explosion put me into a coma. That’s gotta be it. It’s just a dream, a coma, that’s it! That means I didn’t kill someone! _ I realize that Myth and Solas are talking.

 

“-sure that this is a wise idea?” Solas inquires, his eyes looking right at me, be gazing through me like I’m not truly even there.

 

“She’s not dangerous. She’s lost and hurt.” Myth insists, causing Bull to rumble in discontent as he stares at me.

 

“I dunno boss, maybe you should let Red question her.” He rumbles, his voice practically shakes the room, giving me a scare as I hug my arms to my chest, careful of my burns as I look down.  _ Note to self, even if it is a coma dream,  _ **_avoid_ ** _ Leliana. _

 

“No.” Myth says in a firm voice, leaving little room for protest.

 

“But, we don’t know anything about her, or where she comes from! She could be a minion of Corypheus!” Solas insists, causing me to flinch. His shouts remind me of my father, when I was younger, when I would do something so simple as drop a plate after tripping over the dog, he would practically explode, angry like I had dropped a priceless ming vase.

 

“Alix doesn’t deserve these accusations! What could she possibly do to us? Look at her! She innocent. If we mistrust  _ everyone _ we ever meet, we’ll be rather low of steadfast allies!” Myth yells, causing everyone to fall silent. “I’ll hear not  _ one _ more word about this, from  _ anyone _ !” She glances at me, before looking over at Varric. “Varric, find Cole for me.” The dwarf nods, shuffling over towards the stairs. “Bull, I need you to bring me some food and ale from the tavern.” The Qunari scowls at me, before nodding as I cower in on myself, going back to the stairs himself. “Solas, bring me Leliana, Cullen, and Josephine.” Solas hesitates to move, before bowing his head, and departing. “Sera, can you keep an eye on her for me?” Sera look up from staring at me.

 

“Wot?” Her question is one for the Inquisitor to repeat herself, not one of being insulted.

 

“Keep an eye on her? I’ll be right back, I want to change out of my armor.” That’s when I notice that Myth is in heavy chainmail, her hair is pulled back from her magenta eyes, and she smiles at me. “I don’t think she should be alone right now.” She whispers, thinking I can’t hear her.

“Right Inky.” Sera nods, walking over to jump on the edge of the bed, circling my side to plop down with her legs crossed, studying me as Myth disappears into one of the doors on the wall the bed is against. “You’re Alix?” Sera asks, causing me to blink, remaining silent as I nod, looking down at my hands in my lap. “You nutso? Like, bounce of the walls, sacksplash crazo?” My brows furrow at her, before she shoves her hand in my face. “Here, in your face. I’m Sera.” I stare at her hand as she cackles. “You’re so sneaky quiet. Bet you’d make a good Jenny.” I look down at the floor once again, my eyes welling with unshed tears as I fight against the lump in my throat.

 

“ _ Thirsting that throws thrashing things through the thoughts, the pain is a whisper, wanting, whining, whimpering, wishing against wishes. _ ” An all too familiar voice echoes in my ear, causing me to turn my head, but nothing's there. I can guess Sera’s disgruntled face that she heard it too, and it’s Cole. “ _ Remembering remembered remembers running ruins right through ruts. Wondering what you’d done, which was wishing that he’d still loved. He couldn’t love. Thoughts that were true, hurting the hurt that hurts deep inside. Blood bled, thrashing throws through. Choking choked chokes. Dead. _ ” He appears before me as tears bud along my eyes. “ _ He was a bad man. He hurt you. You didn’t have a place to go, they brought you here, away from the hurt. They didn’t mean for you to be there _ .” He says softly, pulling his hat off to set it on the bed, before he cups my face, placing his forehead against my own. “ _ It’s not your fault _ .” Just like that, my tears fall as I curl in on myself, sobs hitching in my chest as tears stream down my cheeks, and my heart throbs painfully in my chest as Cole vanishes, his touch lingering on my face.

 

“Wot waz  _ that _ ?!” I hear Sera ask, a gentle, comforting hand, lands on my shoulder, rubbing my back as I sniffle, rubbing my eyes with the palms of my blistered hands, before a firm yet gentle grip pulls my hands away, and I see Myth kneeling before me.

 

“It’s okay.” She whispers, hugging me carefully.  _ It’s not a dream! It’s not a dream! I know it’s not now! _ After about ten minutes, she’s relinquished her hold on me, I’ve managed to calm myself, and the door opens with Bull appearing at the top of the steps, tray in his hands weighed down with food and ale, trailing behind him is Cullen in all his Commander regality, Josephine in her golden clothes with her clipboard in her hand, and Leliana skulking behind them quiet and observant as always.

 

“Is this she?” Leliana inquires. “Last I knew, she was asleep in the infirmary.” She stalks back and forth before the fireplace, slowly as she watches me. “She doesn’t look dangerous, but we shouldn’t underestimate her, appearances can be… deceiving.” The spymaster’s gaze is unsettling, her evident carelessness of speaking out loud as she examining me is obviously to throw me off. Myth moves over to her, Cullen and Josephine are following, the four of them are huddled in the corner of the room, whispering even though I can still hear them.

 

“I don’t believe she’s dangerous to anyone but herself currently.” Myth says.

 

“You mean she-” Josephine’s surprised voice is cut off as Leliana speaks.

 

“I agree. We should have someone watch her at all times, nonetheless. If not for her protection, then for  _ ours _ .”

 

“Is it just me, or does she strike a remarkable likeness to The Warden?” Cullen asks carefully.

 

“Cousland?” Leliana asks, her tone is surprised, before I notice she glances at me. “You are correct. But, she’s dead.”

 

“A distant Cousin perhaps? Shall I inquire amongst the nobles for a missing family member?” Josephine offers.

 

“Do. I’ll put of feelers to my own contacts.” Leliana says. “It’s possible that she’s suffered memory lost from the thing that damaged her leg and arms.” I can hear her sigh. “This is rendering my ability to judge properly.”

 

“The fact that she looks like your past lover doesn’t help.” Cullen answers. “How are you doing?” His tone is worried for his friend.

 

“Startled. I knew there was something, I just wish I had realized before you had pointed it out.” Leliana sighs, before walking away from them, she casts a glance over me, before walking down the stairs, leaving the room as Josephine and Cullen linger.

 

“Will her feelings interfere?” Myth asks.

 

“If anything, they will cause her to work more diligently.” Josephine answers. “She loved the Warden dearly.” Josephine looks over at me, before frowning. “We should take care to watch her, I’ve never seen someone so still while alive.”

 

“I will watch her for now, but perhaps we could all take shifts. I won’t be here but three more days, and I must rest.” Myth says carefully.

 

“I will take first watch.” Cullen speaks up, clearing his throat. “I know what it feels to be in such shock. I’d rather watch her than one of my men, they might say something wrong.”

 

“I will have Leliana post someone on third watch.” Josephine scribbles on her board. “Which will leave you with the afternoon watch, Mistress Lavellan.” Myth turns to look at me, before nodding to her advisors.

 

“That’s fine. That’ll give me time to do my rounds in the morning, eat, bathe, and be ready to watch her until repreveal. Then I’ll be able to sleep at night.” She clears her throat. “Uh, but, Josie, you;ll take over for me once we set out.” She orders, cause Josephine to bow her head in agreement, before turning on her heels and walking down the stairs to leave the room.

 

“I will take her to my office for the day, you must rest from your travels.” Cullen says, going to move when Myth grabs his arm.

 

“Gentle, commander, the poor thing’s still lost. Still confused. We don’t know what happened before we found her.” Myth warns, causing him to nod his head, smiling as he crosses to stand before me, and I stare up at him.

 

“Uh… Hello.” He clears his throat, fidgeting like he is a young man once again. “M-My name is- ahem. I am Commander Cullen of the Inquisition.” He forces himself to stand straight, no longer fidgeting as he looks down at me, a storm brewing behind those golden orbs of his.

 

“Cullen. Gently.” Myth scolds, from her desk behind me, causing him to blush, before nodding again.

 

“Can you stand and follow me, please.” His voice is gentle, but his words are a comment, an order, not a question, leaving me without a choice but to stand from the bed, and limp after him, my leg aching less with the ointment and fresh bandages. Following him down the stairs and through the stronghold, into the rotunda, where Solas watches us as he paints, Cullen leads out a door to the bridge that leads to his office. Cullen gestures to a chair by the windows in the back of the office, just behind the desk, allowing me to collapse into it with a relieved sigh, turning my head to look out the window, watching the mountains around us. That’s where I stay, gazing listlessly out the window while Cullen works restlessly, holding meetings, filing paperwork, checking scouting reports, and the like. When lunch comes around, there is a servant that arrives with two trays of food, which is when Cullen stops working, clearing a place on his desk to eat, but when the servant hands me my food, I stare at it. Just sat there and stared at it. “You should eat.” I look up to see Cullen has turned his clunky sturdy chair around, and is sitting with his tray in his lap, eating his stew.

 

“What’s the point?” I ask, looking back down at the food. The stew is a briny brown color with odd shaped chunks of vegetables floating amongst varying shades of brown meat.There is a small loaf of bread, the color is a bit dark, cracks across the top showing that it’s dry and been cooked much too long. The apple on the tray is mushy and browning, and last but not least, the water has little things floating in it, meaning it’s full of more germs than fresh water.

 

“The point is, you need energy. Food and rest will give you energy.” Cullen bites into the loaf of bread, causing me to wince at the crunch, before I look down at the food once more, before I set the tray onto the floor, and return to staring out the window. Cullen sighs behind me, but doesn’t press. After a while, one of Leliana’s people comes to fetch me, leading me back to the Inquisitor’s Quarters, where I sit on the couch that Myth has placed outside, the wind is nippy but it feels numb against my skin, and I just stare out at the stars, sleep eludes me as I feel my thoughts spin in turmoil, and my eyes burn with tears that I refuse to shed. The next morning I am escorted back to a sleepy Cullen, the day consists of staring out the window, not touching my food, and listening to the Commander of the Inquisition work, before Myth comes to grab me, and we walk around the Stronghold, where she introduces me to everyone properly. Blackwall, Cassandra, Solas, Varric, Vivienne, Josephine, Leliana, Cole, Iron Bull, Dorian, Sera, Cullen, even the Chargers, Krem, Dalish, Rocky, Stitches, Skinner, Grim, before introducing me to some of the servants, and the kitchen staff. She makes sure that my time with her is spent socializing, though it’s rather  _ her _ socializing than  _ us _ , I just trail along silently. After dinner, where I  _ still _ don’t touch the food, I am escorted to the Inquisitor’s quarters, where I sit on the same couch, watching the stars, never sleeping.

 

Everyday, I get weaker, sleepier, lonelier, sadder, my bandages are changed, and I am passed around from person to person, like a child in need of a babysitter. Maybe I do. On the fourth day, after Myth has left for a trip to Val Royeaux with Solas, Varric, and Cassandra, I manage to convince the person watching me, Josephine, that I need to bathe, so she has one of the servants lead me down to the community bath, the men and women’s baths are cut apart by a large wall, and I sit on the edge of giant tub, contemplating the depth of it.  _ It only takes an inch of water to drown. It’d be over. I’d be with mom, and I would be hurting over Mark. I wouldn’t be somewhere so scary, so dangerous. I could end the pain. I killed someone. I killed someone. I did. I killed a man. I can see his blood. It’d be over if I do it. _

 

“Should you be in here, dear?” I am snapped out of my thoughts by the strange voice. Looking up from the water, I see an older woman standing across the pool of water from me, beside her is Dalish and Skinner. “You don’t look like you should be in here.” I stare blankly at her, before pushing off the edge of tub, fully clothed, and into the water, there’s a scream that is muted by the water as I lay in the water, waiting for the water to fill my lungs completely, not even acknowledging the break in the water until I’m hefted from water, a large and rough hand pounds on my back, forcing me to choke up the water I’ve swallowed, and I gasp for breath as I stare down at the water before me, sobs hitch my chest and tears filling my vision as a buzzing is in my ears. The large hand is rubbing my back, causing me to realize that the buzzing in my ears is  _ me _ , my screaming.

 

“ **_Put me down! Put me down! It has to end! I want it to end! I don’t want to live any more!_ ** ” My screams are high pitched, my breaths are short and sharp, each breath burns my lungs as I sob. “ **_I deserve to die! I deserve it! I killed that man! I killed someone!_ ** ” It’s like a mantra, repeatedly coming from my lips, I can’t stop it as I struggle in the grip of the person holding me like a baby, one hand is cradling me on my stomach, the other is slowly rubbing my back. “ **_Just lemme die_ ** !” I shout, but the person finally wades out of the tub, setting me on the floor as they crouch down, looking me in the eye. The eyepatch and gray skin tells me exactly who it is, a towel wrapped around his waist.

 

“ _ Shut up! _ ” His voice booms, causing a scare to shake me, my mouth clamping shut as he sits on the floor, his burly shoulders a big enough gate to block me from trying to jump back into the water. “You are a  _ human being _ , you may have  **killed** someone, but that doesn’t mean taking your life is the answer. Tell me, did you kill him on purpose, for some malicious intent?” I shake my head, rubbing my palms over my face. “Did you kill him for fun?” Another head shake. “Did you defend yourself against him?” I nod this time, sniffling. “Then you didn’t kill him. You defend yourself.” His voice is rumbling through me, causing me to bury my face in my hands, sobbing as he growls under his breath, pulling me against his wet chest, wrapping me in a tight yet gentle hug. “It’s gonna be alright. Things will get better. This will pass.” His voice is the softest I’ve ever heard Iron Bull speak, game or real life, after a while, my exhaustion gets the best of me, and I fall asleep in his arms.

 

“Thanks for the save, Chief.” I can hear Dalish say.

 

“Anytime you girls need me to hop the wall, you know I’m up for it.” Bull chuckles, the spicy scent of his chest is a comfort as I feel him lift me in his arms. “For now, I should take her to Boss’s room, make sure she’s not gonna hurt herself again.” With that, I can feel the swaying of someone walking, it lulls me into a deeper sleep, one where I can no longer hear or feel anything. The exhaustion seeping into my bones, claims me.


	3. Chapter 3

 

After that day, Bull had been hovering around me in the waking hours, where I had started to actually be able eat some of the stew that comes with each meal, and I’ve discovered that the bread tastes pretty decent if you spoon some of the stew onto it. I still won’t touch the water, opting for some low alcohol wine instead. It wasn’t much, but it was progress. I still didn’t talk to anyone, but I did notice that Bull had assigned a Charger to hover over me during each shift. Josephine felt the need to relay to me that Leliana had sent a raven to Myth about what happened, who replied that she’d be home in a week, that she wasn’t happy either. My waking hours were much the same at they had been, other than the addition of eating and the hovering Chargers, and sleeping. I’m finally sleeping. But, my sleeping hours are worse, much worse. Nightmares plague me about the man I had killed, about my ex-fiance's infidelity, and about my mother, how she reaches out to me, calling for me to come to her, and pleads to me for help. Each night I wake in tears, sweat soaking my body, and shivers raking down my spine. Obviously that’s weighing on me in itself, bags weighing down under my eyes, and I am restless during the day, jumpy and skittish. But, it’s not bad enough for anyone to notice.

 

On the morning of Myth’s impending return, I find myself in the Herald’s Rest, Cullen had allowed me to go for some fresh air, and some food. Walking into the tavern, the woolen dress that I was given sweeps the floor around my feet, my riding boots are a muffled thud at with each step, and the tavern a lively murmur, even so early in the morning. “Well well well!” Two arms are slung around my shoulders, one is clad in armor and muscular, the other is rather small and dainty. Krem and Dalish. “Hey Chief!” Krem yells, steering me away from my destination of the bar. “Look who finally decided to make her way to the Tavern of her own free will!”

 

“There you are!” Dalish giggles, as she and Krem tag team me into the chair to Bull’s right, who hands me a flagon of ale. Skinner is watching me carefully.

 

“So,” Bull looks over at me. “how do you feel today?” My surprise must evident on my face, causing he rumbles with laughter. “You didn’t expect any to honestly care, did you?” He smiles down at me. “Look, you may have your secrets, but I can tell right away that you’re not a physical danger to _anyone_ of us. You’re not a threat. You’re just as the Inquisitor said. You are lost and scared and confused. Nobody with injuries like _that_ -” He points to my leg and arms, which a finally starting to heal with the help of the healer’s daily potions. “should even be alive. You’re lucky, or you were just good a dodging whatever caused ‘em. Either way, there’s no need for everyone to treat you as an enemy. So, I’m going to ask you questions about how you feel, or ask if you’re in pain, because you deserve _some_ care.” I look down at the ale in my hand, before taking a sip, my nose scrunching up at the taste, causing Bull to chuckle.

 

“I’m better when you last found me.” I speak softly, causing him to nod.

 

“Good. Next time you feel like that, tell someone so we can help you.” Dalish speaks up, causing me to nod, pressing my lips into a firm line.

 

“I suppose it’s just the combination of all the bad things that happened.” I murmur, taking another small drink of the ale in my flagon.

 

“Combination of bad things?” Krem asks, causing me to sigh, nodding as I look down at the metal mug gripped between both my hands, feeling the somber moody settling over me.

 

“Well, I was at my job, when my father showed up. He never contacts me, let alone goes out of his way to see me. It turns out that my mom had died, the before.” Krem frowns. “I took the day off to process the news, and at this time I was living with my fiance, and he wasn’t feeling good, so I picked up some of his favorite food for us, and was going to surprise him with it.” I shake my head, sighing. “I came home to find him with another woman.”

 

“Ouch.” Krem winces.

 

“Bastard.” Bull states.

 

“Can I kill this man?” Skinner’s inquiry as me quirking a small smile.

 

“Then there was an explosion, which gave me my injuries, and when I woke, I was where you had found me,” I look at Bull. “this man came out of nowhere, he _lunged_ at me, tackled me, was choking me, so I hit him with a rock, and kicked him a few times. I went to run, he _bit_ me. I grabbed at stick to bat him off, and he yanked, I fell, the stick lodged in his neck… I had _killed_ him.” I swallow thickly, taking a large drink of my ale, before looking up at them.

 

“Damn.” Bull rumbles. “Damn, that’s a _lot_ of crap.” He pats me on the bat, softly trying to console me as Dalish grabs my hand.

 

“I am sorry.” Her words are soft, causing me to give a small nod, before I finish off the ale in my glass, and set it down.

 

“I need food.” I state, standing to walk over to the bar, leaving them behind me, and I order a tray of food, before walking back over to them. Krem is in the seat I was in previous, and he and Bull are quietly talking, before falling silent as soon as they spot me, looking suspiciously like the cat that ate the cream. “Whaaaat?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Can you fight?” Krem asks.

 

“Uh… _no_ .” I state, causing them exchange gleeful looks. “ **_What_ **?” I insist, causing Krem to look at Dalish and Skinner, before looking over at Bull.

 

“I want Skinner to teach you daggers. You’re lithe and skinny, you’d be a good rogue.” Bull rumbles, causing the dark haired elf to smile at me.

 

“Yeah, I just tried to drown myself three days ago, I don’t think they’re gonna let me handle a _blade_.” I point out, causing Bull to shake his head.

 

“I’d be _observing_ , and they’d be **_dull_ **. You wouldn’t have them outside of training either, unless you went out with the boss, or something.” He says, causing me to sigh.

 

“If you can convince the Commander _and_ Myth, I’m fine with that.” I huff, before popping the bread in my hands apart, dunking half of it in the soup, before biting a softened chunk off. “God I miss good cooking.” I murmur.

 

“This _is_ good. What’re you talking about?” Krem asks, causing me to snort in laughter at his ignorance.

 

“If I was allowed in the kitchens.” I grimace at the memory of cooking with my mother and grandmother, and baking brownies and cookies of all sorts. “My grandmother taught me this amazing cookie recipe, with the simplest of ingredients.”

 

“Wot?” I jump at the sudden addition to a new voice, looking over to see Sera hanging over the banister of the second floor, watching me interact with Bull and the few of his Chargers that are at Skyhold currently. “Youse a cook, or somethin?” Sera asks, causing me to shake my head.

 

“No, I’m just a good cook.” I answer, causing Sera to scoff.

 

“Prove it!” She demands, causing me to raise my eyebrow at her. “Don’t look at me with your fancy eyebrow movements and stuff. Prove it!” I finish off the stew soaked bread in my hands, before I stand, brushing my hands on the skirt of the dress as I start towards the door.

 

“You comin?” I ask, looking back at Bull and Sera and the Chargers, they all look amongst themselves, before hurrying after me, following as we walk through the courtyard, and up to the entrance of the kitchens. “Excuse me?” I tap the head cook on the shoulder, the woman looks at me. “Can I borrow the kitchen?” She stammers for a minute, before looking back at the others behind me, before nodding, shuffling the workers from the room. “Alright.” I wash my hands in the basin, pushing up my sleeves, and tie an apron around my waist, before grabbing some washed potatoes and a knife, before I set to work cutting them. Within twenty minutes, the kitchen is smelling of roasted ram with cheesy potatoes and onions, while I start rolling out the dough for the top of the blueberry pie, crimping the edges of the crust, before sliding the dish of cheesy potatoes and onions out of the oven, and push the pie in. Setting the potato and onion dish to cool, I pull the roasted ram out, slicing the log of meat into even circles, allowing it to rest as I turn to the others. “Hey!” I snap, causing Krem to jump, caught reaching for the potatoes and onions. “Hands off, or you’ll eat mushy turnips and string beans!” Krem slouches back, leaning against the back wall with the others.

 

“It smells _so_ much better than what usually comes out of here!” Dalish cries, causing me to chuckle victoriously, pulling out some plates, dishing up the potatoes and onions, along with cuts of the ram meat, passing one plate with a fork to each of them, before leaning against a table to eat with them. Moans of delight fill the kitchen, _quickly_ , causing me to grimace to myself. _Still got it!_ The thought makes me rather happy. The door opens to reveal Cullen standing there.

 

“What in the Maker’s name is going on in here?!” He demands, causing me to blink up at him as he crosses over to me. “You were to go to the tavern for food, and come back to the office. How am I to watch you, when you sneak off like thi-” I shove a fork full of potatoes and onions in his mouth, causing him to startle as I pull the fork away, leaving him chewing the food with a red face, the tips of his ears are even slightly red. “Th-That’s good.” He stammers, causing me to nod.

 

“You can have the rest, I’m full.” I place the fork in the potatoes, before handing the plate to him, crossing to the oven to grab the pie from it with the apron, before setting it to cool.

 

“Is that pie?” I look up as someone else enters the kitchens, much to my surprise, it’s Myth, with Solas, Varric, and Cassandra on her heels. “You’re cooking? You made pie?” Myth’s inquiry as me nodding, wafting the pie with the apron for a moment, in an attempt to cool it faster. “W-What _kind_ of pie?” Myth asks, almost like her anger is completely gone.

 

“Blueberry.” I answer softly.

 

“Oooh. My favorite!” Myth grins as she crosses over to me, giving me a huge hug. “How’re you doing?” She finally asks, causing me to look down, biting my bottom lip.

 

“Better. I hadn’t meant for you to get such a worrying letter. I’m sorry.” I look up at her with sorrowful gaze. “I hadn’t known that was my thoughts, until it happened.” She smiles at me, shaking her head.

 

“No worries. It’s alright, this was why I wanted you watched. It’s alright.” Her voice is soft as she strokes my hair. “Just focus on feeling better, moving on… and getting me some of that pie!” She jokes, causing me to give a soft nod, my lips twitching at the sides, before I pull out plates, filling them with the roasted ram meat and the potatoes with onions, handing them to Varric, Solas, Cassandra, and Myth.

 

“Pie’s still cooling.” I state as Myth pouts, before taking a large bite of the meat, before humming in enjoyment, her pointed ears twitching, moving up and down happily as she chews.

 

“This is _so_ good.” She coos, scooping a few more bites into her mouth.

 

“Boss, I was thinking- We should train her with daggers, bring her along on the road when we leave. Let her cook for us.” Bull says from his spot in the corner, causing Myth to pause her eating.

 

“Hmm… Maybe.” She thinks aloud. “I should think it over.” She answers, causing me to glance at her, before I start to wash the utensils that I used to cook with. After pie, everyone files out of the kitchen, leaving behind Myth and myself, and she studies me as with wide eyes for a moment, before leaning on one of the tables. “Do you honestly feel better?”

 

“Yes.” I answer her after a momentary thought, looking up from the washing basin. “I wouldn’t be cooking if I felt bad still. I’d still be in shock, staring out the window in Cullen’s office.” I explain, causing her to hum in thought.

 

“Alright.” She relents, pressing off the table, and watches as I stack the clean dishes. “You’ll start training once you’re completely healed.” I glance at her. “If daggers end up proving easy, we’ll have Sera start training you on the bow.”

 

“Thank you, Myth.” I tell her, causing her to smile at me.

 

“Don’t thank me yet. You train with Leliana and Cole.” She warns, causing me to pause my movement, panic invading me for a moment. “You okay?” She asks, causing me to hurry for something to say, before I turn to her.

 

“This water is filthy.” I point out.

 

“Well… that’s cause you just put dishes into it.” She states. “Why would you even do that?”

 

“To clean them?” She furrows her brow.

 

“The heat cleans them.” That causes me to scoff.

 

“No it doesn’t. Not completely.” I shake my head, gripping the side of the basin. “What about that bath water down in the public baths? That’s disgusting too. Do you ever drain it out? Clean the tubs?” I ask, causing her to laugh, shaking her head as if they idea is ridiculous. “What about the healers? Do they wash their hands before they touch a patient?”

 

“No! Why are you asking such a strange question.” She asks.

 

“You need a water filtration system.” I state, causing her brow to furrow.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“What’s that?!” I ask in disbelief. “Do you know what indoor plumbing is?” I finally ask.

 

“It’s a toilet. We have those. We’re not savages.” She says.

 

“It’s not just that. Indoor plumbing is a water filtration system that purifies the water, leads it to the basins for your hands, it can be hot or cold. Leads it to a tub, hot or cold. Water fresh for drinking without things floating in it, and the like! Did you know that just washing your hands can prevent infections and disease from being spread?” I ask, causing Myth to blink owlishly at me.

 

“R-Really?” She gapes as I nod, before I look around the kitchen.

 

“I can build a small one, but I’ll need a list of supplies.” I state, causing her to nod, gesturing for me to follow her, we enter the castle, hurrying up to Josephine’s office, where she grabs a quill and blank paper, the Diplomat is currently meeting with dignitaries.

 

“A knife, 2 large water drums, lots of nails, a hammer, four mesh fabrics that are framed, gravel, sand, and charcoal about 50 pounds each, a long hollow tube, and a tree tap.” I state, causing her to scribble the items down, before smiling up at me as she sets the paper down on the desk.

 

“I marked it urgent via the Inquisitor, I’m sure she’ll rush to get the items.” She explains, causing me to grin.

 

“Great. I can’t wait.” I state, causing her to smile, but all that’s on my mind is a _clean_ glass of water, and a _clean_ bathtub. _I honestly_ **_can’t_ ** _wait!_ Less than a week later, I am sitting in the kitchen, peeling potatoes from their skins for french fries, when Myth comes dashing in with a _huge_ grin on her face. “What?” I ask, causing her to bounce.

 

“The supplies came!” At her words, I drop the potatoes and knife to the table, jumping up in the dress, and dashing out the door, up the stairs on Myth’s heels, following her to the courtyard, where some of Cullen’s men are carrying the supplies through the gate.

 

“Where do you want this, Inquisitor?” The one in charge asks, causing Myth to look at me.

 

“By the Well.” I answer, causing the man to look at Myth, who nods in compliance, before following me as I walk towards the well, and once the supplies are gathered, I come down from changing into a pair of tight black leather trousers, brown riding boots, and a long sleeve cream tunic with a green corset, my bandaged changed as well. The sun is blaring down on Skyhold as I set to work on building the water filter, cutting, sliding, filling, and attaching components, I barely even stop long enough for a bite of stew, before getting to work once again. Instead of supplies for _one_ water filter, there are enough supplies for dozen, which works fine for me, because it keeps me busy the entire day.

 

“What’re you doing?” Blackwall asks, approaching after a few hours, causing me to look at him as I wipe sweat from my brow, the water drum filters lining the back of the courtyard, just past the stables, a sign of my good work.

 

“Working.” I answer, hissing as I lower my aching arms. “It distracts me.”

 

“I can tell. What are you working on?” He inquires, causing me to smile at him.

 

“Something that will clean the water.” I answer simply as I turn back to my work, kneeling the nail the two water drums together, the top one having a hole cut into the bottom of it.

 

“Water can be dirty?” He asks.

 

“Not from natural springs, but the Well is not a natural spring, it’s natural ground water. Unclean water can make people sick.” I explain, causing him to hum in thought, before watching as I fill the top drum with Charcoal, then pour sand on top, followed by the gravel, and stick a hollow tube in the drum, before I push it to the side with the others, leaning against the top to take deep breaths, wiping my forehead once again.

 

“Your bandages are bloody.” I look down at my arms at his words, seeing the blood seeping through my tunic, causing me to sigh, and turn towards the stairs, ready to change and get fresh bandages.

 

“Thanks Blackwall. You’re a prince.” I murmur to him, causing him to grin, pale blush dying the apples of his cheeks.

 

“You’re welcome.” He mumbles, turning back to the stable as I let out a sigh, turning to cross the courtyard, climbing the steps to head over to the infirmary. Pressing the door open, I step inside as one of the healers look up from washing her hands in the basin, Myth had taken my words to Josephine, who had provided the healers with basins for washing their hands in.

 

“Ah! Mistress Alix, torn your burns open again?” She asks, drying her hands with a clean rag, before crossing to my side to grab my wrist, pulling me to a bed with a knowing smile. “For someone who claims that she hates the ointment, you tear your wounds open quite a bit.” She teases, her blonde locks are pulled back in twin braids, her freckled cheeks are dimpled with a smile, and her brown eyes sparkle with mirth. “You know that since you suggested that we wash our hands, rate of infection has gone down dramatically, as has the stomach cramps that the soldiers have been complaining of.”

 

“I’m glad.” I murmur as she cuts away the bloody sleeves to my shoulders, before unraveling the bandages on my arms, before pulling out the ointment container out from the drawer beside the cot. “You know that these cots aren’t very sanitary. Hay isn’t very good for sleeping on, it’d be better to request actual mattresses.”

 

“Oh?” She tilts her head at me.

 

“The mattresses should be lightweight, easy to transport, and should all have sheets. Sheets should be soft, for backs, and easy to wash if someone has accidents from being so sick. That should also be how the mattresses should be.” I explain, causing her to hum in thought.

 

“I’ll talk to Lady Josephine about it. Deep breath.” She warns as she opens the tub of ointment, I take a deep breath in as she scoops some with her fingers, slathering them over the burns that causing me to grit my teeth, biting back a scream of pain. “Release.” I let the breath out as pained tears bud in my lashes, before taking another as she scoops up more, nodding as she slathers some ointment over the other burns on my other arm. “Release.” She orders once again, causing me to let out a shaky breath, before I grasp my trousers while she starts to wrap my arms with bandages.

 

“Thanks.” I murmur, causing her to nod as I stand.

 

“Please, stop doing whatever you’ve been doing to stress your wounds.” She says, standing to wash her hands free of the remaining ointment, while I standing from the cot, before leaving the infirmary, and walk towards the well to see Blackwall, Bull, and Sera are all trying to piece together my water filter supplies.

 

“Whaaaat are you guys doing?” I ask, causing Sera to squawk, dropping the mesh frame in her hands, before stumbling to look over at me.

 

“We were tryin’ to figire out this water thingy! How’d you do all these?” She asks, pointing to the water filters.

 

“Hard work and determination.” I state with a flat face, causing her to blink at me, before I shake my head. “I built them for a project during my schooling.” I explain, causing her to laugh lightly.

 

“Oh!” Sera grins.

 

“We thought you might need some help.” Bull says, causing me to cross my arms, raising an eyebrow at him. “Blackwall said you ripped open your burns during your work.” I nod as I cross over to them, taking a water drum, and the knife.

 

“It’s like this.” I start using the blade like a drill, popping a hole the bottom of the water drum, before nailing the drums together, sliding the mesh frames into the cuts in the sides of the drum, pouring the charcoal, then the sand, and gravel, before sticking the hose in the drum. The three of them are watch, enamored as well as in awe.

 

“Can you draw the instructions out?” Blackwall asks, causing me blink at him, before grabbing a stick, and drawing the instructions out in the dirt, before they all surprise me, grabbing items, and the four of us get to work, chattering and talking amicably. After awhile, even Myth and Varric and even Cole join us, Solas, Dorian, and Vivienne watch from the steps, adding in comments as well, Cassandra is monitoring my wounds every ten minutes, making sure I don’t bleed through them, or rip them open even worse. Around dinner, Cullen, Leliana, and Josephine join us, bringing trays of food for all of us, and we work while we eat, finishing up just as the sunsets. Later that night, I am soaking in the personal tub that is in Myth’s quarters, the heating runes working with the freshly clean water helps me relax, the exhaustion seeps into my bones. I can hardly keep my eyes open as I wash my hair and body, before climbing out of the tub, and drying off. Grabbing the provided tunic and underclothes, I change myself into them, before sliding on the oversized tunic, and stepping out to climb into the bed beside Myth, who smiles at me as she rubs the ointment on my wounds.

 

“Where have you been sleeping?” I finally ask, causing her cheeks to darken, ducking her head.

 

“Uh, I… I have a place.” She explains, causing me to tilt my head to her, before I smile softly at her.

 

“You’re in _love_.” I state, causing her to gasp, eyes widening as she looks at me. “You’ve been staying with him haven’t you?”

 

“I-I- no! I mean, yes.” She stammers, causing me to laugh lightly.

 

“So, who is it?” I ask softly, causing her to smile at me.

 

“Solas.” At her words, I can feel my blood run cold, and she smiles at me. “He’s the one. I’ve known for months. I spend most nights with him.” She explains, causing me to blink, pressing my lips firmly together in a tight line.

 

“I-I’m happy for you.” I murmur, causing her to smile as she helps me bandage my arms, before she pets my head.

“You’re so cute.” She murmurs. “I really am reminded of my baby sister, when she was alive.”

 

“You had a sister?” I ask carefully, causing her to nod.

 

“My mother died giving birth to her, and she lived with my father and me until one day when she wandered too close to a shemlan’s city, they called her a barbarian, and shot her down.” She looks down, a sad look on her face, causing me to grab her into a tight hug, wrapping my arms her head as she holds me around the waist, clutching my tunic in her too frail for her warhammer fingers.

 

“I’m sorry.” I murmur, causing her to shake her head, sniffling as she smiles up at me, tears in her eyes.

 

“It was a few years ago.” Her eyes sparkle as she looks at me. “I think I’m going to adopt you as my sister. I know it won’t be the same, but I just want to take care of you.” She says, letting me go as I release her, and she smiles at me. “Okay! You’re my new little sister.” I shake my head in amusement as she cups my head, pressing me down into the sheets, before laying beside me, pulling the blankets over us. “So, go to sleep. I’ll be here until you fall asleep.” She says, causing me snort, closing my eyes as she pets my hair, and not long after, I fall fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We need a nickname for Varric to call Alix!


	4. Chapter 4

 

The sunlight tickles my eyelids as I let out a soft yawn, opening my eyes to see Myth laying beside me, our hands grasped together as she snoozes softly, causing me to smile softly, before sitting up as I brush my fingers through my hair. Looking at her, and how we woke up, I am reminded of how my sister and I used to cuddle, sleeping next to each other when we had nightmares. Slipping silently out of my side of the bed, I cross over to the bathroom she had made up, I grab the hairbrush to run through my hair, before braiding it back, and cleaning my teeth, before dressing in my black leather trousers, and a soft longsleeve red tunic. Sliding on my riding boots, I walk out the door to go the stairs, exiting the room to walk towards the courtyard, greeting the warm morning sun.  _ It’s been too long since I woke with the sun. _ Walking down the stairs to the upper courtyard, I find a spot that will be out of the way, stretching my arms towards the sun as I take a deep breath, before slowly starting my yoga, something that I hadn’t done since I came here. Moving through poses such as Vriksasana to poses like Bakasana, it’s not long before other people start to migrate out of their rooms and the tavern, some to trail off to bed, others to start their day, and the guards rotate shifts, as I go through my yoga, I can see people staring in curiosity and like I’m insane.

 

“Alright, Firefly, what’re ya doin’?” I blink at Varric, slowly taking a deep breath, before lifting my head out of the Adho mukha śvānāsana pose, looking up at the dwarf before me.

 

“It’s called yoga.” I explain as I stand. “It’s good for clearing the mind, increasing flexibility, building muscle strength and tone, balance your metabolism, and many other things.” As I finish my explanation, I can feel my exhaustion washed away, noticing the sun is higher in the sky.

 

“Have you eaten yet?” His question manages to catch me off guard, causing me to tilt my head at him.

 

“I’m fine.” I answer with a small smile, causing him to frown.

 

“Now now Firefly, even you know that I can spot a liar as well as Lady Nightingale. But anyone can tell that  _ that _ was a lie.” Varric scolds, causing me to sigh. “Come on now, let’s get you something to eat.” He grabs my arm, pulling me along towards the throne room once more, before pushing me down at the table before the fire, then he vanishes.

 

“ _ Happiness, hoping, helpful, heartfelt holding hands. It’s been so long since I was truly happy. Here, it feels right. Happiness heals my wounded heart. _ ” I look up as the blonde young spirit-turned-man hovers over my shoulder.

 

“Hello Cole, are you joining Varric and I for breakfast?” I ask carefully, causing him to tilt his head, watching me carefully.

 

“Okay!” He smiles at me, before sitting in the chair across from me. “But I don’t eat.” He states.

 

“You can keep me company. It’s lonely to eat alone.” I explain, causing him to smile at me once more. “So, how was your morning so far?”

 

“I don’t sleep.” His words are soft spoken, but friendly as I smile, shaking my head.

 

“No, I understand. Morning is a time, though for some it’s the time around when they first wake. I’ll explain, my morning consisted of doing some stretches to wake my muscles and relax my mind, I am now eating breakfast, and afterwards, I will check on the water filtration system, and then I will go get my burns checked.” Varric returns at this time, placing a plate of hardtack and gruel before me, causing me to grimace, but eat it without complaint.

 

“Your stomach begs for something that doesn’t exist.” Cole states, causing Varric to look at me in confusion, while I shake my head.

 

“Firefly, what’s the kid mean?” Varric asks, causing me to blow air from between my lips, before biting my bottom lip in thought, before shrugging at Varric.

 

“It’s not like it’s a big secret or anything. I’m just not from…” I make a random circle with my hand, my spoon clenched in my fist. “here.” I explain, causing Varric to snort, rolling his eyes.

 

“ _ That _ much is obvious.” Varric states, spooning his gruel onto his hardtack as a few more people join us, Krem, Bull, Sera, and Myth, the usual breakfast group.

 

“What’s obvious?” Myth asks as she pops a grape into her mouth, her plate looking  **_much_ ** more appetizing that the rest of ours.

 

“That Firefly ain’t from around here.” Varric states.

 

“Wot?” Sera asks, looking at me like I’ve grown two head all of a sudden.

 

“I don’t think you get it.” I state as Varric grins, leaning back in his seat.

 

“Sure I do. You’re not from Fereldan. Explains the accent, the manners, the ability to cook such mouth watering food, the cleanliness, and everything else.” Varric answers.

 

“Wot ’re you  _ Orlesian _ ?” Sera inquires, causing me to roll my eyes, dropping my head back as I shut my eyes, dulling the suddenly ache behind my eyes, when a minty freshness grazes my skull, causing me to look up to see Dalish standing behind me with a friendly grin, behind her is Skinner, and Stitches.

 

“Thanks.” I murmur, causing her to nod as I look back at the others, before stealing an orange slice from Myth’s platter of fruits. “I’m not Orlesian either.”

 

“You’re a noble?” Krem guesses, causing me to snort, rolling my eyes at that.

 

“My family is  _ well off _ . Not rich, not poor. We call that  **_middle class_ ** .” I explain, adjusting in my seat. “Will you let me speak for reasons other than shutting down guesses, or would you rather turn this into a game?”

 

“Oh! Oh! A game!” Myth says, causing me to raises an eyebrow at her, before shrugging as I pop the orange into my mouth, the others agree.

 

“Alright, Winner can have the 5 sovereigns that Myth gave me. Everyone gets three guesses. You also get three questions to ask, I reserve the right to refuse to answer any questions, which will return your question for free. The game ends either when someone guesses correctly, or by the end of- what’s the date?” I look at Myth.

 

“Uh… 12th of Solis 9:40.” She answers automatically.

 

“Alright, the 24th of Solis 9:40, that gives you guys 12 days.” I state, grabbing a few more grapes, and some piece of Hardtack as I stand, the others start murmuring amongst themselves as I walk away. After checking on the water filtration system, polishing off my grapes and half the hardtack, I enter the infirmary as the healer from last time gestures me to a bed as she binds a man’s leg.

 

“Now you stay off that leg for a few days, Rylen. Cullen can send out other men to capture the keep.” She scolds, causing him to grump as I shake my head, tugging my sleeves up, and my trouser pant leg up. The wound all my leg is all but healed, the ones on my arms are the problems. “Come for your ointment?” She asks, settling on the floor before me to unravel my leg, humming as she studies it. “You’re leg’s healed. Just gonna be a nasty scar there.” She says, tossing the dirty bandages into the bin beside the bed, as I pull down my pant leg.

 

“The arms are still sore.” I explain.

 

“They are gonna be, you ripped the just healing flesh open last night. We could see your bones when they brought you in, the pain should be more intense. The ointment prevents that.” She explains as she cuts the bandages off, applying the slimy gray ointment to my arms, the flesh is raw and angry red with dried blood dotting places, the bones and tendons no longer visible. “You’re luck the healers were able to patch up your arms like they were, otherwise you wouldn’t have your arms anymore.”

 

“You cheerful demeanor hides your terrible bedside manner, ya know that.” I state as she’s tying the bandage, she yanks sharply on it, causing me to yelp, and she looks up at my face.

 

“Sorry, Mistress Alix!” She gives an alarmingly cheerful grin, the dimples on her lips causing her smile to look that much more disarming.

 

“Martha, Lieutenant Charles is asking for you again!” A young looking brunette girl with a sly grin on her lips pokes her head in, at her words, my healer turns bright pink.

 

“U-Uh j-just tell him to give me a minute, Colette.” She stammer as she cuts the bandage from my other arm, slathering it quickly, before she attempts to tie the fresh bandage, which just becomes a jumbled mess as I grin.

 

“Martha,” She startles, looking up at me. “I can tie it. Go get your man.” She turns bright red at my words.

 

“M-My man? Heavens no! I-It is not like that!” She stammers, causing me to grab her fumbling hands, tugging them from the bandages, and looking into her eyes. “I-He’s my best friend’s h-husband!  _ Was _ my best friend’s h-husband, b-before Haven.”

 

“Martha,” She falls silent. “She’s gone?” She hesitantly nods. “He might be in just as much comfort as you. Did you never think that he might come to care for you as well? Nobody deserves to be alone.” She pauses, her red face simmers down to a barely noticeable pink in the candle light, before she stands, glancing at me with a ‘thanks’ before she dashes out as I let out a huff, looking down at my arm. “Don’t thank me.” I murmur to nobody, tugging my bandages into place, tying them off before I stand, heading into the Stronghold. Walking through the rotunda, where I notice Solas is painting along the walls, I head up the stairs to the miniature library, where I find  _ one _ Dorian fluttering about before books, looking as flamboyantly as ever as I scan the shelves for something to read.

 

“What is this? I lost little lamb come from hiding to spend time with moi?” Dorian’s bright voice almost has me smiling as I glance at him.

 

“Sorry to disappoint, I’m just looking for a book to read.” He blinks, before smirking at me.

 

“Perhaps I can be of some assistance?” He asks, sidling up to me, before glancing through the leather bound tomes. “Subject?” I freeze, before glancing at him.

 

“Uh… Herbology.” I finally settle on the first subject that comes to my mind, causing Dorian’s smile to greet me.

 

“Interesting in plants and medicine? Must be finding your place amongst us. Or, perhaps brushing up of something from your past?” His smile grows as I raise an eyebrow at him, before crossing my arms over my chest.

 

“Is that one of your three questions?” I inquire, causing him to baulk, before sighing.

 

“Alas, the lost little lamb has caught on to my skeam.” He hands me a brown leather bound tome, before leaning on the wall across from me as I settle onto the edge of the banister around the center of the rotunda. “So,  _ were _ you a healer in the past?” He inquires, causing me to glance up at him, raising an eyebrow, before humming in thought.

 

“Briefly. You have two questions left, I suggest you use them later, on better inquiries.” I state, flipping the cover open with precise fingers as Dorian hums, going back to his own books as I watch discreetly, before looking back down at the stained, old pages, my blood turning to ice as I look at the words, squinting at the page as if that would make the markings make sense, but it doesn’t, instead everything blurs, and as I open my eyes to normal, the marks  _ still _ look like something akin to roman numerals. “What the hell?” I murmur under my breath.

 

“What was that?” Dorian hums, glancing back at me over his shoulder, causing me to jump, snapping the book shut.

 

“N-Nothing. Nevermind.” I press the book carefully back to the shelf, before scurrying back downstairs, and out into the throne room, glancing briefly around for a moment.

 

“You okay there, Firefly?” Varric asks, causing me to jump, turning to see him at his usual place beside the fireplace.

 

“What? Oh! Yes.” I press my lips firmly together, before pointing towards the courtyard. “I-I’m gonna go. I’ll be back.” I scamper out of the stronghold, crossing the courtyard as confusion and fright circle around in my head.  _ What is going on? Why can’t I read? I’m  _ **_sure_ ** _ I’ve read before in Thedas! Is something going on with my body, some kind of acclimation? Will I suddenly be unable to speak Thedandosian as well? How is this possible? M-Maybe I should just pretend that I can read? _ I’m chewing on my thumb as I walk back and forth on the battlements, lost in thought.  _ That could get me caught… Maybe I should talk to someone? Not Myth, she has too much on her shoulders already. Leliana frightens me, and doesn’t trust me. Josephine maybe? Not Cullen, seeing as he’s still mad at me for escaping his observation a few weeks ago. _ In my thoughts, I don’t notice anyone before me, until I slam into a hard plate of armor, sending me stumbling back onto the ground with a whoosh of air being forced from my chest. “S-Sorry!” I stammer, rubbing my sore nose as I look up, seeing Cullen smirking down at me.

 

“It’s fine. I’m unharmed.” He bends down to offer me his hand, causing me to stare at it, before taking is hesitantly. “How’s the nose?” He asks as he helps me up, causing me to smile shakily.

 

“Oh, uh. Fine. Just a slight bruising. Oh! Not that it’s  _ your _ fault, it’s all mine. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.” I stammer out, causing him to grin earnestly at me.

 

“I noticed. Had a few recruits come tell me that ‘the odd girl under my observant is pacing the battlements, looking like she just had a run in with Corypheus himself’. I decided to come see if you were alright.” He explains, causing me to bite my bottom lip, a blush scoring my cheeks. “You can tell you’ve been pacing, you’ve worn the stone down a bit.” He says, leaning down to study the stone on the battlement as the blush on my cheeks worsens with his teasing.

 

“Yeah right!” I snort, causing Cullen to chuckle, looking back at me.

 

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist.” He says as I cross my arms over my chest once more, looking down at my feet as my blush of embarrassment tapers down a bit. “I-I am sorry, you looked genuinely worried. What’s wrong?” He asks, causing my head to snap up, before I draw my bottom lip between my teeth in thought, before letting out a sigh of bitter resentment.

 

“I want to read a book.” He raises an eyebrow at me.

 

“And we don’t have it? Someone’s reading it? I’m sure we could get multiple copies if needed- did you check the library in the basement?” He questions cause the heat to return to my face tenfold, and I swallow as I chew on my lip.

 

“Well, I-I… I  _ can’t _ .” Cullen looks at me with a question on his face. “I-Well… I can’t read.”

 

“Oh.” Cullen baulks, staring at me as if waiting for me to crack up laughing as I shrink under his gaze, hugging my arms to myself. “O-Oh, y-you really can’t read?”

 

“Or write.” I add, causing him to choke on his breath, before running his fingers through his hair, looking around before looking back at my mortified position.

 

“I… I mean, I have a lot to do,” He stammers as I wince.  _ He’s rejecting my request for help before I can even ask! _ “but, if you wouldn’t mind me, I can… help teach you myself.” My head snaps up at his offer, eyes wide as he smiles down at me.

 

“R-Really?” He nods, causing me to grin at him, the beam is wider than I think I’ve been able to produce in months, even before I came here. “T-Thank you Cullen!” I cry out, jumping with happiness. Reacting without thinking, I clutch his arm, dragging him down to kiss his cheek, before jumping back, twirling around. “Cullen, you are my Knight in Shining Armor!” I shout as I dash down the stairs, feeling well enough that I do a cartwheel across the courtyard, vaulting over a person who is bent down to pick something up, before dashing towards the diplomatic office to speak to Josephine. A few hours later, I enter the tavern to see Bull pouting against the table with Krem chuckling as he leans against his boss’s shoulder, drinking as Bull stares blankly at his flagon of ale, huffing. “What’s the matter with him?” I ask as I settle into a seat across from them, Bull just spares me a glance, before huffing as he looks away, down a few gulps of ale swiftly.

 

“The Chief’s pouting cause you asked Cullen for help, and not him.” Krem says, chuckling and Bull mumbles under his breath about ‘big brother’s not being trusted’, causing me to blink, before frowning.

 

“When did I ask Cullen for help?” I ask, causing Bull to snort, looking me in the eye.

 

“He said he’s gonna help you learn some stuff to help you read and write.  _ I _ could do that!” Bull pouts, causing me to huff, crossing my arms over my chest.

 

“How many people know?!” I growl, causing Bull to blink in surprise.

 

“Know what?” He asks, causing me to huff, smacking my hands on the table as I press to my feet.

 

“That I’m an illiterate!” I snap, causing Bull to frown, looking me over for a moment, before sitting up.

 

“Nobody. We thought you were just learning a new language.” Bull answers, causing me to blush, slumping back in the chair behind me as Bull frowns. “You really don’t know how to read and write?” I press my lips firmly together, looking down at my hands in my lap, as though they’re the most interesting things in the universe.

 

“ _ Shame, twisting, curling, churning, dripping down my spine, sending chills across my skin. It’s not the same. _ ” I jump, looking over my shoulder to find Cole lurking there. “What’s not the same?”

 

“Nothing, Cole. It doesn’t matter.” I answer, standing from my seat at the table, to walk out of the Tavern, leaving my confused friends behind.


	5. Chapter 5

 

Tossing the book at the wall with a growl, it falls to the ground harmlessly as Cullen laughs, Josephine smirks over the rim of her teacup, the two of them amused at my irritation as Bull plops his hand on my head. “Call down, Firefly.” Varric says, across from me at the table, which is strewn with papers, coal, pencils, and books. “Writing is essential before you can read.”

 

“I wouldn’t be so grumpy if it were easier!” I snap, causing Bull to shake his head, while Varric smirks at me.

 

“Maybe we’ve done enough for today?” He offers me an out, but I shake my head quickly, eye wide.

 

“No no no! I’m sorry, Varric. Please, keep going!” I beg, causing Bull to grumble behind me about being more stubborn than a Qunari, while Cullen grabs my books from the floor, and Josephine continues to work while sipping her tea.

 

“Alright, this is-” The door to the office slams open, revealing a bloodied Dorian, frantically reaching for Vivienne, who was calmly observing in the corner of the office.

 

“Dorian?” I ask, causing him to glance at me. “What is it?” I ask as I climb to my feet.

 

“Myth’s been seriously hurt.” He answers, causing me to jump the table before me, Varric included, dashing out the door beside the two mages, the three of us racing towards the healer’s hut through the stronghold, there aren’t many people in the main hall as we cut through the courtyard, and I toss open the door in time to see one of the healers bringing a flaming hot iron over to Myth’s bed.

 

“Drop it!” I shout, causing them to look at each other as I dash across the hut, kneeling beside Myth, she’s frantic with a fever, gripping her stomach as she thrashes in the bed, causing me to reach for her hand, carefully pulling it away from her stomach to observe her wound. “What happened, Dorian?” I insist as I snatch a bowl of warm water and a rag from one of the shelves, the mage doesn’t answer as he looks at our friend in her agony. “ _ Dorian! _ ” He jumps at my insistent tone, looking at me.

 

“We weren’t far from Skyhold, when we were ambushed. Rogue ashwarriors, their Mabari ripped her from the horse.” Dorian answers, causing me to bite my lip as I kneel beside the bed, cleaning the wound as Myth cries out. “What’re you doing?!” He demands, going to grab me when one of the healers stops him.

 

“I have to clean the wound so I can stitch it, and put some ointment on it. Someone get me Elfroot and a mortar and pestle!” I shout over my shoulder, cleansing the deep claw marks. “Hurry up!” I snap as a shaking assistant hands me the herb and implements, which I grab before shoving it into Dorian’s hands. “Grind that for me. I need a new rag, dry!” Someone else hands me a dry rag, which I replace the blood drenched rag with, pressing firmly on the wounds. “Needle and thread, doesn’t matter what kind- someone stick the needle in a fire, and someone wash the thread in soap and clean water!” I bark, causing the healers and assistants to scramble as I hold out my hand for another rag, which I press to the wounds as I drop the bloodied one without a care. “Dorian are you done with that elfroot yet?” I demand, causing him to hold it out to me as I take the mortar and pestle, before beckoning him forward. “Press on the rag as hard as you can, when it starts getting heavy, ask for a new one.” I walk over to the corner where the wash basins are, scrubbing my hands and arms up to my elbows with soap and water, before I walk back over, dipping my hands in the Elfroot paste, waving Dorian off as I slather the wounds with the paste.

 

“What will that do?” Dorian asks, tone frantic as Vivienne watches from the foot of the bed, holding the needle and thread.

 

“Numb the wounds, I have to pierce her skin with the needle. Someone be nearby with the bandages and clean rags.” I demand, causing a healer to step forward, arms weighed down  with the supplies as I grab the needle and thread from the Enchanter.

 

“Are you sure this is wise?” Dorian’s tone is frantic.

 

“Dorian, if I don’t do this, she could bleed out. Cauterization isn’t healthy for this type of wound.” He blanches at that, and I slather the wound with the paste once more, before I start to stitch her skin together around the wounds, Myth tiredly whimpers and cries softly, telling me that she’s still tender, but it doesn’t hurt as much. Grabbing a clean dagger from nearby, I cut the thread once it’s tied off, slathering on more paste mixed that that ointment they used for my arms and leg, pulling a rag from the healer nearby, pressing it into place, before I grab the bandages, and wrap the wound. “These need to be changed every day, and the stitches washed every time. Once the wounds are closed,  _ then _ you may remove the thread.” I state, causing the healers to nod as I stand, brushing off the skirts of the gown that I have on, an argument between Josephine and myself for three days had decided that I would wear dresses for lessons alone, before I slip out of the healer’s hut, walking through the stronghold with my head raised. Once I manage to shut myself into my private quarters, courtesy of Myth herself, I lay my head back with a ragged huff, closing my eyes as I grit my teeth, tears burning behind my eyelids.

 

Once I’ve managed to calm myself down, I change out of my one dress into trousers and a tunic, tossing my hair back before pulling on my boots, and go down to the sparring ring in the courtyard, where Dalish and Skinner are there already, Skinner hands me the practice blades that I’ve been using the last week or so, before jumping off the railing, twirling her blades as she walks towards the middle of the ring, I follow suit as Dalish leans against the rails, prepared to offer healing, if necessary. Without warning, Skinner charges with her blades poised, causing me to prepare to parry her attack, the blades scraping against each other with a grating noise, before Skinner steps back, her eyes trailing over me as she stalks around me, shouting commands for my position. She charges me once more, without warning, causing me to stumble, ducking under her arms as she goes to lunge at me, turning on a heel, I kick Skinner right in the butt, send her into the dirt as she catches herself on her hands. Dalish giggles as the raven haired elf turns to me, she swings with her blade, causing me to duck, before I swing up with a my fist, but she dodges my swing with the slight dip of her head to the side, before throwing her blades down. “You want to do this without blades, then let’s do it!” She barks, causing me to pause, throwing the blades to the side as Skinner swings her fist at me, I duck the hit, snapping my fist out only for it to connect with Skinner’s cheek, a soft whisper of the knuckles passing the skin, but still enough to surprise her. She grabs my wrist, spinning around to vault my weight over her shoulder, slamming me into the ground hard enough for me to let out a hiss, my breath escaping my lungs from the force, all in one go. Wheezing as I lay on the ground, head throbbing as Dalish and Skinner scurry over to look down at me, my back aches as I suck in a deep breath, the two of them look worried as I burst out laughing. A metallic taste lingers in my mouth as I run my tongue over my bottom lip. With the force of my impact, I’m lucky that I hadn’t bit clean through my lip when I had bit it, instead it’s just a bit of a cut.

 

“You okay, Alix?” Skinner asks, causing me to nod, giggling even more as I hold out a hand to both of them, they both take one, working together to pull me to my feet as I stumble for a moment, grin still in place despite the bloody and multiple bruises I have starting to appear. “You sure you’re alright?”

 

“Better than I have in a while.” I answer, causing the two of them to look at each other, before I look at Skinner. “Let’s continue.” I state, grabbing my blades from the ground as she does the same, the two of us start to duel and train once again, it’s not long until the sunsets, the three of us going to dinner in the tavern. Entering the tavern the two elves lead their way over to the Charger’s usual table, sitting as I drop into my spot between Krem and Bull, the giant Qunari looks at me with a sparkle in his eye.

 

“What happened to you?” Krem asks as I look at Dalish and Skinner, before the three of us burst out laughing.

 

“Intense training!” I answer, giggling as Krem looks between the three of us, before looking at Bull like we’re insane, Flissa comes around to serve drinks.

 

“Ah,” I lift my mug to my lips, drinking the ale slowly and carefully. “Krem you worry too much! Ember’s gotta lotta potential with that spark of her’s!” Bull booms as he smacks me full on the back, sending numbing pain radiating up and down my spine as I freeze, ale dribbling on my chin.

 

“Uh, Chief?” Krem says, causing Bull to glance at him as he points to me.

 

“You okay, Ember?” He asks, causing me to suck in a pain filled breath, reaching up to wipe my mouth with a sore grunt, before I nod.

 

“Sore.” I murmur, causing Bull to rumble in laughter, before a few other waitresses comes around with trays of food, placing one before me, I barely set my ale down before I start to slop food into my mouth, the stew and bread are better with the help of my instructions, accompanied by cheese onions and potatoes with cuts of bacon in them, the cheese is melted and ooey gooey good.

 

“So, uh… How’s the Boss?” Bull finally asks, causing me to sigh, sinking into the chair further than before.

 

“She’s fine. Or, will be. The damage wasn’t that extensive. She’ll make it through just fine.” I answer as Bull nods.

 

“Good to know.” He says, taking a large gulp of his drink, before setting the flagon on the table. “We’ve gotta up the ante on your training, get you in fighting condition for the assault on Adamant Fortress.” I pause in the middle of taking a bite, setting down my eating utensils to look at him.

 

“Nobody said anything about actually… fighting.” Bull blinks, looking at me for a full minute, before shaking his head.

 

“We’re in the middle war here, Ember. You’ve gotta be able to fight, to defend yourself.” Krem points out, causing me to frown. The image of the man that I killed passes across the front of my mind, causing me to freeze with my blood suddenly running cold, and my surrounds become blurred, the noise around me like a buzz in my ears.

 

“ _ Choking cold surrounding, swimming, swaying,  _ **_drowning_ ** _. Blood bubbling, boiling, bursting past the pale lips, eyes burning, begging, darkening, dark. Gone _ .” I jump in my seat, swinging around to see Cole lurking close behind me, cold sweat beading across my forehead as he looks at me. “ _ The pain, it hurts to remember. Cold dead eyes, the hard grasp on his hands, the imprint of his fingers and teeth on my leg, the blood spurting from the stick in his neck, it  _ **_hurts_ ** _ , please. _ ” Cole reaches out, his hand grazes my cheek, resting on my shoulder. “ _ It’s alright, it’s not your fault. The man was insane, he would have suffered or killed you, and then he would’ve been sad. Somethings can’t be changed, you may hurt, but he wanted to be free _ .” Tears burn in my eyes as I press away from the table, Bull and Krem both look at me as I duck my head, leaving the tavern in a brisk walk.

 

In the time since Dalish, Skinner, and I had gone for dinner in the tavern, the sun had completely set, but that hadn’t crossed my mind as I cross the courtyard, snatching up a bow and quiver of arrows from the armory, before I stand 30 feet back from a target, knocking an arrow into place. Pulling the string back far enough to strain my muscles in my arm, the familiar burn almost a comfort as I release the arrow, and it sinks immediately into the bullseye, another arrow following soon after. The familiar twange of the arrows hitting the target, the twinge of pain in my arm and back from extending the muscle, the release of breath keeping my breathing regular despite feeling as though I’m going to start hyperventilating, are all a relaxing comfort. Part of me is grateful that Cullen had started me on bows and arrows as soon as I could move my arms without pain or pulling open my wounds, if he hadn’t insisted, we’d have never learned that I was actually a natural at it.

 

The pain in my chest and the anger at myself, for becoming such a crybaby, mix and churn in my stomach, making me grip the bow tighter, releasing another arrow, which to my astonishment, splits the shaft of one of the arrows in the middle of the bullseye, the metal arrowhead only stopping at the head of the other arrow. My surprise is minimal as I knock another arrow into place, sending it into the same arrow that split the last one, splitting it down the middle. “ _ What _ was that?!” I startle, swinging the bow and arrow in my hands around, poised to loose the arrow into the person standing a few feet away. The person who is in fact the one and only Commander Cullen, the man who all but avoids me if he can. Taking a deep breath, I slowly stand from my crouch, lowering the bow and arrow as he watches me for a minute, before his brow furrows. “Is there a problem?”

 

“NO!” I wince at the boom of my voice across the courtyard, his furrow deepens at my obvious lie as I let out a sigh, tossing the bow and arrow to the side, and run my hands up and down my arms. “H-How soon are we assaulting Adamant Fortress?”

 

“As soon as the Inquisitor is healed and able to fight.” He answers as I let out a sigh.

 

“Will…  _ I _ be expected to fight?” He pauses at that, looking me over.

 

“You might. Depending on how well your training goes.” He answers, causing me to swallow thickly.

 

“I-I don’t want to kill.” His eyes soften at my words, but I can’t hardly see that as I tug at the end of my braid nervously. “I can’t get that man out of my head, the one that attacked me… H-He  _ died _ at my hands.” Cullen frowns as he crosses to my side, resting a gloved hand against my shoulder, warm tawny gaze meet my duo-toned eyes.

 

“This world is not meant for people like you, with such a kind heart. It’s a world of eat or be eaten, and where you come from, I believe it is much more different.” He says, shaking his head. “You should never have been force into such a situation, and for such, I apologize. But, since you’ve been here you have been so strong. Almost as strong as the inquisitor herself.” Happiness shoots through me at the comparison, feeling like a child who is being praised like the older sister she looks up to.

 

“Thank you… Commander.” She says, causing him to nod, a smile behind his eyes.

 

“Now, it’s getting late. I’ve come to tell you that Josephine and the Inquisitor had  _ finally _ managed to get you your own room. If you’d care to follow me?” I nod quietly, grabbing my bow and replacing the arrow in the quiver, before slinging that onto my back, following the commander as he leads into Skyhold. We take the stairs up to Vivienne’s balcony and bedroom mess, the mage is asleep without a care in the world, and the door on the balcony across from the stairs opens, and Cullen leads to last door of the few doors lining the wall, which he opens.

 

“This-?” I glance at him from looking into the room, causing him to smile as he nods, and I step into the large stone room, looking around. There’s a grandiose double bed with four posts, soft silky red bedding and heavy drapes pinned to the posts, the stone floor is covered with a large plush red carpet, there is a tapestry on the wall across from the bed with the Inquisition’s insignia on it, a looking glass is in the the corner against the back wall, on a stand, and a large wooden chest sits at the foot of the bed. “This is mine?” I turn back to see Cullen looking at me in confusion. “When I was younger, I had to share my room with my older and younger sister. Then I moved directly in with my fiancee when I was old enough, and then here I had Myth’s room, I’ve never actually had my own…” I explain as I continue to look around, turning to him once I finish my explanation, seeing the sad look on his face. “What?” I ask, tilting my head at him.

 

“Nothing.” He shakes his head, smiling at me. “I will have a servant move your belongings in here.”

 

“No, it’s too late. Don’t wake anyone up!” He startles at my words. “I-I’ll do it myself.” I murmur, causing him to look me over, before he sighs.

 

“And I suppose there is no talking you out of it?” I shake my head at him. “I will accompany you, as you don’t have much. It makes more sense to make one trip.”

 

“I-” I see his look when I go to argue, causing me to pause, looking down with a soft smile. “I appreciate it, commander.” I murmur, causing him to nod.

 

“You’re quite welcome.”


	6. Chapter 6

 

The next two weeks my training becomes more an more intense, with either Bull, Dalish, and Skinner training me, or Sera and Varric and Cole, or even Cullen sticking me in with the men for  more hands on approach. Most nights I am off to bed with bruises forming, my head pounding from the occasional beating it takes, hardly even able to eat or bathe, before falling into bed, passed out before my head hits the pillow. By the time the end of the month approaches, Myth presents me with a pair of custom-made leathers, and a pair of gilded daggers with fire and electric runs etched into the pommels. “What’re these for?” I ask, looking at the fine blades, skimming the side of one with a delicate finger as I sit on the edge of the war table, where she’d called me aside to.

 

“Cullen and Bull say your training is coming along nicely. I want you beside Cullen in the upcoming battle.” My head jerks up at her words, my finger slipping to glide across the blade, causing me to wince, looking down at the bloody dirt covered finger, and Myth grabs it. “You have to go wash it, before it gets infected!” She hurries, causing me to shake my head.

 

“I’ll be fine for a few minutes. Why did you decide that I’m going into battle all of a sudden?” I ask, pulling a handkerchief from my pocket to wrap around the bloody finger. “I’m not ready.”

 

“You  _ are _ ready.” She insists.

 

“No, I’m not!” I argue. “I have one kill under my belt, an accidental kill. If you want to send me into battle, then send me out with the scouts. Let me get my footing in battle, don’t just throw me into a serious side of the war.” I say, causing her to pause, before she looks me in the eyes.

 

“You’re truly afraid?” She asks, causing me to softly nod, and she sighs, carding her fingers through soft platinum hair.

 

“Alright, go pack. I’ll send you to Crestwood, but fair warning- you’re going to be fighting the undead.” She relents, causing me to swallow thickly, before I slowly nod, hopping off the war table. “Hey Alix,” I look back at her. “Be careful.”

 

“I promise.” I answer, causing her to nod, before I dash through the halls, the blades and leathers hugged close to my chest.

 

“Where are you going, Firefly?” Varric asks as I pass him on the way out from the War room.

 

“Myth is sending me to Crestwood to get my feet wet before the big battle.” I answer, talking to him as I jog backwards. “So, I’m going to pack.” I turn away, picking up speed to get to my room faster, tossing a bunch of clothes onto the bed in my knapsack, before shedding my dress that I was wearing for my lessons, and pulling on my tunic and trousers, pulling my boots on when there’s a heavy knocking on my door. Standing, I run my fingers through my hair, realizing that my hair tie snapped from my frantic movements, leaving my long hair running down my back in waves. Moving to the door as the knocking becomes frantic, Cullen is standing there slightly disheveled, tunic ruffled and trousers have untied, hair sticking up. He’d obviously just got up. He opens his mouth to speak as he looks up from tying off his trousers, falling silent as his eyes land on me, surprise and delight appear in his eyes, causing me to raise an eyebrow at him. “Can I help you, commander?”

 

“Uh…” He shakes his head, as his shaking off a stupor. “You aren’t going to Crestwood! The Inquisitor has yet to clear the land free of the undead, or close the rift!” He argues, causing me to frown.

 

“That’s the point! She wants me to stand beside you in the upcoming battle, but I’ve never been in battle. I need to fight, if I can. Because the last thing anyone needs, is myself or anyone else dying because I froze in the midst of battle.” He falls silent under my point.

 

“I-”

 

“Plus… You’ve all worked so hard to train me, I can’t just stay here and train forever. I  _ want _ to help, to do what you’ve all trained me to do.” I explain, causing him to sigh, carding his fingers through his blonde curls, a frown tugging at his scar.

 

“Well-”

 

“ _ Please _ Cullen. You’ve worked so hard for me, let me prove myself.” I plead, causing him to look me in the eyes, before he pinches the bridge of his nose.

 

“You-” He looks at me as I steeple my hands under my hands. “I-” He sighs, smiling at me. “Your hair likes nice like that.” I stumble back in surprise, twisting a loose curl around my finger.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“Get a good night’s rest, I’ll have a servant bring you your food tonight.” He says, turning away.

 

“Uh, Commander?” He pauses, shoulders stiff, slowly turning back to me. “A-Are you alright?” He frowns. “It’s pretty late in the day, and you were in the war council earlier, did you go back to bed?” He rubs the back of his neck, as if it’s straining under some invisible weight. “I… I heard you used to be a Templar- that you were quitting lyrium. Withdrawal symptoms can include nausea, headaches, nightmares, panic attacks, vomiting, Anxiety, irritability, and quite a bit of other things… i-if you ever need anything medical, I… can help?” My offer causes his eyes, which had narrowed suspiciously previously, to soften as I rub my arm, glancing up at him through my eyelashes, toeing the floor with the toe of my boot.

 

“Thank you, Alix. But, I doubt there’s anything you can do.” He says, causing me to look up at him.

 

“You’d be surprised.” I answer firmly, causing his eyes to widen, as if surprised at something on my face, before he smiles a bit sadly.

 

“Alright, get some rest. You look like you’ve been through hell lately.” He says, shocking me as I blush, nodding as I step back into my room, closing my door as I let out a soft huff. Cullen was becoming protective of me, due to being the two of us slowly becoming close, and due to his withdrawal symptoms causing undue paranoia. Looking through my belongings, I pull out a journal that I started keeping a day or so after I got here, flipping through the pages, and making another tally mark with the koal pencil, marking another day that has passed since I’ve been here.

 

“Over nine months. I wonder if my dad’s gotten worried… Is  _ Mark _ worried about me?” I pause in surprise.  _ That’s the first time almost five months that I’ve thought of him _ . I find myself thinking.  _ I’m not even sad about it anymore. _ I’m gobsmacked at my own thoughts.  _ What’s going on with me? _ Shaking my head, I climb into bed, falling fast asleep, the next morning I have a swift breakfast of stew and bread, before dressing in my leathers, and sticking my daggers into their sheathes. Heading down to the stables, my swift pace slowly at the sight of a familiar gray Qunari and his right hand in stables, Dalish and Skinner are saddling their preferred mounts, while Stitches, Grim, and Rocky are packing down a miniature pony with supplies.

 

“Ember!” Bull booms as he turns at the sound of my footsteps, causing me to narrow my eyes at him. “We’re your traveling companions! The Boss is sending us to watch your back!” I let out a sigh, before I shake my head.

 

“Are you trying to make me a Charger or something?” I joke, causing Krem to grin as Bull shrugs.

 

“It’s not a bad idea.” He says, causing me to gape at him. “If you followed directions better.”

 

“Hey!” I cry, causing him chuckle, dropping a hand on my head, ruffling my hair as I blink at him, before swinging my hand up to smack his hand away, causing him to narrow his eyes at me. He reaches up to ruffle my hair again, causing me to duck his hand, stepping back as he steps forward, following as I turn on my heels, laughing and screaming as I dash away, Bull following across the courtyard. “Cullen, look out!” I shout as soon as the Commander appears in my path, he looks up from kneeling for a drink, he has a look of surprise as I launch over his shoulders, touching down on the other side of him, I look back in shock as Bull stares in awe, and Cullen stands up straight, completely confused and shocked at my action.

 

“Ha!” Sera starts cackling from her perch on one on the stairs above. “That’s the longest ol’ Cully-Wully’s probably been under a woman in long time! Enjoy it did you?” The elf’s cackling causes Cullen’s face to turn bright red, and I gasp, my own face starts to burn at her words.

 

“I-I’m so sorry, Cullen!” He shakes his head, waving me off as he ducks his head, kneeling beside the water bucket. He scoops up the water ladle, taking a drink, before he lifts the bucket, and pours it over his head, causing me to stare as his shirt clings to his chest.  _ Stop staring! _ I mentally chastise myself, turning my head away as I force my eyes down, walking past him back towards the stables.

 

“Enjoy the show?” Krem teases as I pass him, and I shoot him a glare.

 

“I didn’t see anything.” I retort sharply.

 

“Your face says otherwise.” Krem answers, following me as I walk over to the mounts, debating my choices. “It’s a shame that you saw nothing. The commander seemed to want you to see.”  _ Oh come on! I’d have to be  _ **_blind_ ** _ not to see that treat of a man! _ I shake my head, grabbing a tack, and entering the stall of a green and red Dracolisk, named Bunny, to start setting up his tack.  _ Shut up! _ I snort as I roll my eyes.  _ You just told yourself to shut up! Great, conversing with yourself is always a  _ **_great_ ** _ sign.  _ Letting out a sigh, I tighten the saddle, before I move to grab my knapsack from the corner of the stables where I’ve dropped it when Bull started to chase me.

 

“Are you alright?” I glance over at Skinner and Dalish, the two of them watching me from beside their mounts.

 

“Annoyed with myself. And with Bull.” The Qunari in question shoots me a childish look, grinning as I look back at the two elves. “I am guessing we’re sharing a tent while on the road?”

 

“You know it.” Dalish grins.

 

“Don’t think I’m letting up on your training either. We’ll train whenever we have a break.” Skinner warns, causing me to smirk, cocking my hip to put my hand on it.

 

“Bring it.” She grins at my words, before the two of them help me strap my knapsack onto the Dracolisk, before I lead the mount out to the gate, the others following as Myth, Cassandra, and Cullen meet us at the gate.

 

“Be safe.” Myth says to me as she helps me mount the Dracolisk, readjusting the stirrups under my legs. “Watch your back, stick close to Bull.” She orders, causing me to wrinkle my nose at her. “You. Come. Back.” She says, causing me to nod.

 

“I swear I will.” She pats my leg, before Cassandra nods to me, the two of us hadn’t really had any time to  _ bond _ with each other, or even conversate much. Cullen steps up, pushing a new bow into my hands, causing me to look at it in surprise, before looking at him.

 

“Keep your guard up, and your wits about you.” Cullen smiles up at me as I shake my head, smiling as I reach out to brush a damp curl from his eyes.

 

“Yeah, you guys work hard while I’m gone.” He nods, as I replace the bow on my back, handing him the borrowed bow. “You and I’ve gotta duel when I get back.” He nods in agreement, causing my smile to widen.

 

“You are on.” With that, he pats the Dracolisk on the rear, and I start across the bridge, Bull and the others following close behind.

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

The road to Crestwood is bumpy, especially for someone unused to riding a horse, aka me. The first night on the road is long, uncomfortable due to sleeping between a kicker, Skinner, and a flopper, Dalish, the rain constantly falling outside makes the tent colder despite the thick leather that the tent is made of. The second night is a bit better, the exhaustion of the night before and the early morning combining enough to allow me to turn in before either of the elves in the party, shortly after our dinner of warm stew and firestone bread, and the next day I am well rested, ready for the day ahead. It’s only halfway to Crestwood, five days into our journey, that as we’re making camp, that we’re ambushed.

 

Men charge the camp, ripping down the tents, knocking over the firepit, along with our food. None of us hesitate to take up our weapons, readying ourselves for a fight. Two men charge me, picking up on my lack of training or perhaps just seeing the lack of muscle, but both are taken in surprise when I parry their swords, each with one with a single dagger. That seems to anger them as one dashes at me again, swinging violently, leaving now chance to fight back, only letting me parry and press away, when suddenly the other one grabs me from behind, one arm around my neck, the other around my arms as the first knocks my blades from my hands. Kicking my legs in attempt to get free, I notice Dalish and Skinner get knocked out, Rocky and Stitches are next, Grim following close behind as Krem and Bull are backed against each other, back to back. “ **_We’ve got one!_ ** ” One of the men shout, causing Krem’s head to snap towards us as I kick the man in front of me in the back, struggling against the crush hold around me. “ **_Take care of them, we’ll get this bitch back to the stronghold!_ ** ” The man says, causing me to panic.

 

“N-No!  _ BULL! BULL HELP! _ ” He turns at my shout as the man before me grabs my legs as I jerk and squirm in their arms. “ **_BULL!_ ** ” My voice is hoarse as I scream for the Qunari, who is struggling to fight his way towards me, overwhelming numbers of enemies appearing almost from nowhere. Krem is right by his side, the two of them fighting together as I’m being taken away.

 

“ _ Hold on Alix! We’re coming to get you! _ ” Bull shouts as the men throw me into the back of a wagon, in a medium sized cage, I scramble towards the door of the cage when one of the men slams the door shut, locking me in as the rune on the door blasts me back from it. Blood dribbles down my nose as I sit up, reaching up to wipe the blood away, feeling my anger pulsating as one of the two men cackles as he sits on the back of the wagon, leering at me as I hack a loogie into his eye, causing him to cringe.

 

“BITCH!” He growls, grabbing my wrist through the door.

 

“Hey! Don’t touch the merchandise!” The one driving yells, causing the other man to snort, throwing me back in the cage, pulling a leather tarp down over the metal bars. “Rude, but she’ll catch a good price, eh Tommy?”

 

“Might need some breakin’ in first.” The one by my cage, Tommy, says.

 

“We’ll leave that to her owner, don’t go touching the goods.” The driver says, the two of them fall into silence as I mentally count the seconds pass, trying to predict where we’re going. We’re on the road for ten hours and 49 minutes, before they pull the stifling tarp from the cage, and Tommy reaches through the metal bars to twist my arms behind my back, tying them firmly together as I bite my cheek, attempting to bite back the whine of pain aching to leave my throat. The driver, which I learned during the journey was named Adam, rips the cage door open, yanking me out by my legs, my back scraping against the back of the wooden carriage, before he just drops me to the ground, causing my breath to leave me in a rush of a grasp. Struggling for breath from the mixture of the pain from the aching marks on my back and the impact of hitting the ground, tears blur my eyes as I fight against them. Tommy and Adam grab me from the ground before I can get to my feet to make for an escape, or to fight them, blinking away the tears I spare a swift look around.  _ Guards. At least twenty. _ I swallow thickly as the two of them push me onto a platform, the sun is boring down on us as sweat pools around and in my leathers, and I can see men and women in cloaks before the platform, coin purses around their wrists. People are sold for at least an hour, before I am shoved onto the stand, the auctioneer smirks with a leer as he turns to the crowd, gesturing to me.

 

“Next we have a fair skinned young lady, with hair like the sunset. A rare sight to beheld, indeed. She looks to be fairly young, at least 20-”

 

“23.” She spits despite herself, causing him to chorkle.

 

“23, with quite the muscular build. She looks familiar doesn’t she? Like the Hero of Ferelden.” He grins as he crosses his arms, his back to me, and I feel he urge to kick him, but I know that would be bad, that the guards would kill me before I set foot off the pedestal. “Let’s start the bidding at 200?”

 

“I’ll give you 300!”

 

“400!”

 

“5!”

 

“10,000!” Everyone goes silent, turning to look at the woman in the back that bid, she’s tall with long dark hair piled daintily upon her head, robes of royal purples and maroon rest upon her shoulders, and clenched in her hand is a wooden cigarette holder, smoke rising from the stub at the end of it. “She’ll make a great addition to my girls.” She says, smirking as she steps forward. “Any price bid, I will match.” She says, stepping up to the stage to grab my chin, staring into my eyes as I glare at her. “Oh yes, such a spark. She will do nicely.”

 

“Go take a long walk off a short cliff.” I snarl, causing her to laugh, smirk turning cruel as her grip tightens.

 

“I will enjoy  _ breaking you _ , Warden.” She growls, causing me to spit at her. She reaches up, swinging her hand at me, striking me across the face as I hiss, stumbling under the impact, but holding strong.

 

“G-Going once for 10,000. Twice. Sold!” The auctioneer says, causing me to growl as the woman beckons two huge qunari men forward, they grasp my arms, leading me from the stage as the woman walks ahead of us.

 

“When we get back to the Prancing Mare, throw her in the training room. I’ll deal with her from there.” The woman turns to me. “You may call me Madam. Starting today, you’re mine.” She smiles, it looks like a snake’s smile as she looks at me, the look in her eyes say that she’ll kill me the moment I act out. I find myself well and truly scared for once.

 

~3rd POV~

 

Dashing through the stronghold, Myth bursts out the front door, and down to the front gate, seeing a bloodied and bruised Ironbull, leading an empty Dracolisk through, shoulders heavy with a sad weight on them. She looks to see the other Chargers in much the same shape, but no sign of Alix. “Where’s Firefly?” A quick glance down and she sees Varric wandering up, and Bull glances at over at them, before he looks down.

 

“We were ambushed right outside Crestwood.” Bull answers, that’s when Cullen, Josephine, and Dorian are joining them. “There were probably a hundred or more of them.”

 

“They split us all up.” Krem continues when Bull sighs, looking down again. “They grabbed Ember, threw her in a cage-” He stops, grabbing his arm with a tight fist. “By the time we got done with the others and started after them, they were long gone.” He looks down as well.

 

“What do you mean they were gone?!” Cullen demands, stepping forward.

 

“How long did you look? How hard? Do you know if she’s alive or not? How could you just return without so much as a clue to where she is?!” Dorian shouts, a panicked tone in his voice. Anyone could have noticed that the Dorian and Alix had started spending time, between her lessons, together, he was helping her with herbalism and poisons, teaching her the different plants that were used for different things. Dorian was affectionate towards the young woman, looking over her as he’d done for Felix in the past, like siblings. “She’s alone is a place she doesn’t understand? Do you even know who took her?!”

 

“Dorian!” He jerks at her shout, looking over at her. “That’s enough. They said they searched, but look at them! They’re all injured, there could be internal injury, or worse.”

 

“No, Boss.” The two of them look at Bull, who scowls. “This should’ve never happened on my watch. We need to save her.”

 

“We will.” She answers. “But we need to find her first.”

 

“One of the ones we interrogated mentioned something about them being sent to market.” Rocky points out, causing the people around them to look at each other in confusion, but Myth knew what it meant. Like icy water flooding her veins, the panic in her heart nearly seizing control as she whirl around to grab her Hart from the stables.

 

“Inquisitor, where are you going?!” Josephine cries, following the elf as she mounts the Hart without a saddle.

 

“I’m going after her!”

 

“You know where they were going?” Cullen asks.

 

“They were Slave Traders!” She answers, kicking the Hart in the sides, taking off down the bridge, eventually joined on her path by Dorian, Bull, Varric, and Cullen himself. She says nothing as the five of them hurry towards Jader, unaware of the fate of their friend.


	8. Chapter 8

~Alix POV~

 

It’s been four days since I was bought by the Madam, at the very least. Which means it’s been almost five days since I was kidnapped, Bull must be out of his mind with worry. My hands are chained behind my back, the chain leads to my ankles, which are chained to the floor, a precaution the Madam took after I retaliated against her breakers, the two Qunari bodyguards had to pull me off the first two of the breakers, before the Madam chained me. My joints are stiff and sore from the angle I’m locked in, my cheek is swelling from the repeated impact of being struck. There is a throbbing at the base of my skull, sticky with blood, from where on of the breakers hit me with the pommel of his sword, to knock me unconscious at one point, a slight gut wrenching fear grips me at the thought of a concussion, which are dangerous enough in the modern world, who knows what could happen here, without a potion or a healer. It’s too dark in the room, to see anything, no windows to tell the time of day, the air is stale, and I feel cramped as the shadows press in on me, it’s almost suffocating. “She is awake.” My head snaps up at the door as it opens, the room floods with light as a servant comes in, tray of food in her hands. The way she’s dressed reminds me of a geisha, powdered face, smokey eyes, red lips, hair piled gently at the top of her head in a delicate braid, the gown she’s in is skin tight, a royal purple with long sleeves, and a gentle pink sash around the middle.

 

“I’ve brought you some food.” She murmurs softly, kneeling before me to place the tray on the floor as the door behind her closes. She glances at the door, before lighting the lantern in the corner with the wave of a hand.  _ Mage _ . I blink at the light as she scoops up a bowl of stew, and a spoon, the mysterious stew looks briney, and chunky, despite looking unappetising, my stomach growls as she lifts the stew to my mouth. “You must gain your strength.” She says softly, her voice is weak and quiet, her silver eyes holding a storm of emotions as I turn my head away from the offered food. “Please,” She whispers, causing me to eye her suspiciously. “please eat. You must keep your strength in order to escape.” I furrow my brows at her as she swallows. “I am one of Sister Nightingale’s people,” She explains quietly. “I’ve been ordered to join the brothel to help slaves escape.”

 

“How do you know who I am?” I ask softly.

 

“The inquisitor, Commander, and the others are in a nearby inn, Sister Nightingale has sent me to meet them, and they explained what happened.” She explains as she offers a slice of dry bread. “I will be back in the dead of the night, we will get you out of here.” She promises, standing after I finish my food. “Stay strong.” She murmurs, before knocking at the door, it opens with the Qunari guards, who eye her like a piece of meat as she smiles sweetly at them as she leaves the room, the door shuts, the darkness swallowing me whole. After the breakers come and leave, blood drips down my cut up skin, lethargy and anxiety swallow me whole, draining me to the point that I pass out, dreaming of a happier, better time.

 

_ “Hey Bull!” I call as I cross the bar to sit with him and the chargers, causing him to grin as Krem and the others call out in greeting. _

 

_ “Ember, we’ve missed your bright spark these last few days.” He calls in greeting. “You spend all your time learning to read with Varric and Josie, or with the Vint, going over herbs.” _

 

_ “Sorry about that, but it’s not like you don’t spend a lot of time that “Vint” yourself.” He growls playfully as I nudge him, before reaching past him to steal Krem’s flagon when he’s not looking, too busy eyeing Maryden as she smiles and blushes, singing sweet songs. “Speaking of time with Dorian, he tells me that you’ve come up with watch words for most of the Inquisition.” _

 

_ “Oh boy,” Bull chuckles. “he can’t keep his mouth shut, can he?” _

 

_ “I was under the impression that you like big mouths.” I tease, causing him to gape at me a bit as I take a drink of the ale, before setting in on the table. “So, can you guess mine?” His brow furrows at me. _

 

_ “You want me to give  _ **_you_ ** _ a watch word?” Bull asks, causing me to roll my eyes, shaking my head. _

 

_ “I said guess, not give.” He raises an eyebrow at me, causing me to press my lips tight together, giggling as I take another drink, his eyes on me, practically burning with intensity as he grins, victory flashing in his eyes. _

 

_ “You have a watch word?” He asks, causing me to nod, shrugging my shoulders as I run my finger across the lp of my cup. “Hmm,” He grins. “Mauve.” _

 

_ “No.” I scoff, shaking my head with a laugh. “Guess again.” His face fall, before he hums in thought, rubbing his chin in thought with a stumpy thumb. _

 

_ “Cotton.” He guesses, causing me to burst out laughing, the flagon of ale slams on the table, drawing the attention of some others around the tavern. _

 

_ “Seriously? Like… Bull, I’m a girl of refined tastes!” He grumbles under his breath at my laughter as I shake my head. “One more guess.” Bull starts to pout, crossing his arms over his chest as he looks deep into my eyes. _

 

_ “Cocoa.” He guesses, causing me to raise my eyebrow at him. _

 

_ “Starlight. It’s starlight.” I answer correctly, causing the Benhasarath agent to grumble and growl under his breath about being unable to understand ‘the weirdo from a weird place’. “It’s alright, performance issues are common with men.” I tease, patting his shoulder, before downing the rest of the ale, setting the flagon on the table as I stand. “Especially older men.” He looks at me like I just shot his dog, aghast as I stand. “You’ll get over it.” I taunt as I press a kiss to his cheek, before walking out as the Chargers start laughing behind me. _

 

“Wake up!” Someone hisses in my ear, jerking me from my dream as the geisha girl from earlier is standing before me, she’s dressed similarly from earlier, but the gown is shorter and all black, her face is covered with a cloak and mask, and she is holding two long swords in her hands. “We need to go, before the sleeping draught wears off the guards and the Madam.” She cuts the chains, pulling me to my feet as my head swims, eyes blurring as she curses, tossing me over her shoulder, before dashing out of the room.

 

“Where are we going?” I ask, words slurring as she shushes me, running through the brothel, every once and awhile she slips into a room, hiding from guards and other working girls, before long, she’s jumping across rooftops with me over her shoulder, in the dead of night. My vision is blurry from the pain of being bounced, my head is swimming, and it’s not long before I realize that we’re stopped. “Where’d we go?”

 

“Shush, it’s alright.” She promises.

 

“Lanyla?” Someone calls as light encroaches the darkness, and warmth prickles my icy cold arms, blood dribbles down my arm, and I look up as we enter the light and warmth, before I am set on the floor as the geisha girl pulls off her hood and mask. “Oh my god! Alix!” I look you blurrily as arms are thrown around my shoulders, the impact sends me stumbling backwards. “Alix?”

 

“She’s lost a lot of blood- they were relentless today.” The geisha girl says, causing me to attempt to speak, but it comes out as gibberish as everything goes dark, slumping over.

  
  


~3rd POV~

 

Cullen’s arms tighten around the duo-colored eyed redhead as she slumps over, hands falling from his shoulder as her looks up at Lanyla, who nods to him, before slipping out of the window they had entered, climbing through the rooftops back to the brothel. Sweeping the woman into his arms, he carries her, bridal style, over to his bed, before he leaves to get the Inquisitor and Dorian, hoping the necromancer can heal her.

 

Myth dashes towards the Commander’s room as soon as Lanyla had stopped to tell her that she had dropped Alix off in Cullen’s room. The door opens right as she stumbles to a stop before him, breathing heavily as he looks at her in surprise, confusion also in his eyes. “Lanyla told me she dropped Alix off here. How is she? Is she hungry? Tired? Is she hurt? Please tell me she’s alright.”

 

“She’s in need of healing. They’ve been torturing her, I was hoping to get Dorian to come heal her.” She swallows thickly as she nods, stepping to the side to allow him to move past, before she enters the room, and stops beside the bed. The redhead’s chest is rising and falling with only a slight stutter from the pain, dry and wet blood covers her from head to toe, cuts and nasty bruises cover the woman, and Myth’s stomach clenches in an uncomfortable way.

 

“Alas, my beauty sleep has been taken from me.” Dorian whines as he enters the room, wrist clasped in Cullen’s hand as Myth turns to them, Dorian’s eyes widen as they land on the woman in the bed. “Alix!” He scurries over as fast as he can, worry coating his face as he kneels beside her, glimmering green swirls surround his hands as he starts to heal her, and Myth watches as Bull and Varric enter the room, all of them crowding the room with worry on their faces. It’s hours before any of them speak, hours before Dorian even moves, standing with sweat caked on his face, looking around the room before he collapses into a nearby chair, falling asleep as the rest already have.

 

The next morning Alix is teased awake by the fingers of light reaching though the blinds, an ache settling deep inside of her, terror ripping through her as she looks around, sitting up in the bed quickly, ready to fight for her freedom when her gaze lands on the person in the chair nearby. “D-Dorian?” She asks in surprise, her gaze landing on the others. “C-Cullen? Myth? Varric? Bull?” Bull is sitting in the corner of the room, head against a wall as he snores softly, Cullen is against the wall across from the foot of the bed, Varric leaning against him, and Myth is sleeping with her head on her arms at the foot of the bed. “Myth?” Alix crawls towards the platinum haired elf, her wrists heavy with shattered chains, which clink and clatter as she moves. She eyes the chains with hatred and disdain, before she carefully shakes Myth, who yawns, and looks up while rubbing her eyes. Her gaze lands on the redhead before her, before she gasps, jerking upright with wide violet eyes, before she throws herself across the bed, arms around the other woman.

 

“You’re awake!” She cries, hugging her as Alix freezes under the touch, causing her to swallow shakily, and Myth jerks back as though she’s been burned. “I-I’m sorry!” She looks down, eyes landing on the chains and shackles around her wrists, before eyeing each and every scar across her skin, causing Myth to bite her lip. “I-I’m so sorry,” She looks up at Alix. “please forgive me. This wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t said I was going to send you into battle. You weren’t ready, and now you’re-” Myth starts to tear up, causing Alix to shake her head.

 

“It’s not your fault.” Is all Alix says, causing Myth to sniffle, but wipe her eyes.

 

“Lets get those chains off.” Myth says, waking Varric, who grumbles and groans, before looking up to see Myth and Alix, his eyes brightening.

 

“Firefly, you’re okay!” He crosses the room to the bed, smiling as Alix gives him a weak smile, before he looks at the chains around her wrists, and nods. “We’re gonna get those off.” He pulls out a lockpick, setting to work, it’s not long before her wrists are free, and he sets to work on the shackles on her ankles, while Myth wakes the others up. It isn’t long before Dorian, Varric, and Bull go out to disassemble the slave ring, Myth goes out to buy some food in the meantime, and Cullen and Alix sit together on the bed, silence spreading over them, neither of them can do more than glance at each other, before catching each other’s eye, and looking away.

 

~Alix POV~

 

Staring at the red rings on my wrist, I clasp my hands together, my eyes burning with unshed tears, anxiety clenches my chest, holding my heart in a vice grip, my skin prickles and hairs on my neck stand on end. “C-Cullen…”

 

“No,” He cuts me off, causing me to look up at him. “I know what you’re going to say, and no. You aren’t at fault. Not for this.” He says, causing me to stiffen, before he looks over at me. “Alix, did they force you to-”

 

“ _ No _ .” I answer before he can finish his sentence. “No,” I repeat softly, taking a deep breath. “I-It wasn’t like that, the woman who ran the place, she said I had too much spirit, that I had to be broken before I could serve.” I shake my head. “I can’t even imagine… those girls before me.” I bite my bottom lip. “C-Cullen, I-I can’t…” My breath hitches, and my grip on my hands tighten. “If I-” The tears start to fall as I drop my head, my bangs covering my eyes, hiding my tears.

 

“Alix, are you alright?” He finally asks, causing me to take a breath, hiccuping as I shake my head.

 

“No… No, I’m not.” I answer, causing him to sigh, reaching over to carefully unlock my hands, before he cards his fingers through my own, causing my breath to hitch and shutter, and I swallow thickly as I turn to him, burying my face in his shoulder, and his other hand reaches up, carding through my hair, before landing on my shoulder, holding me against him, rubbing soothing circles on my back as I cry.

 

“It’ll be alright. I promise that you’ll ever have to go through this again.” He whispers in my ear. “I’m not going to let you go through this again.” He says.

 

“Can we just go home?” I beg him, clenching my fist in his tunic. “Please, I just want to go home.”

 

“It’s alright, we’ll go home today.” He answers, causing me to sniffle, hiccuping as relief fills me.

 

“Thank you.”


End file.
